Straight From The Brain

Finito

2008-09-01T07:25:00.003-12:00

To the two-three guys who check my blog on an annual basis, I'm shifting. Cya here. I shall try to keep updating that... Adios :-)

Dr.Fixit

2008-05-22T21:26:00.004-12:00

Casteism, politics being the refuge of scoundrels, religious conversion, brain drain, the perception of being a "poor" nation populated by misers, costly oil, inflation, tax evasion... The list of problems India faces is burgeoning, and the uneducated dopes elected to the high posts in the government seem to be grappling with problems bigger than their tiny brains can fathom. Unfortunately for India, these problems seem to be feeding of each other, strengthening over time, ensuring that India stays in the morass of underdevelopment into which it was thrown by its leaders, especially Gandhi, Nehru, Indira Gandhi and the like. Fortunately for India, though, the solutions for these problems is startlingly simple. Three simple steps are all India needs to take to reduce, if not eliminate, a majority of the problems it faces. Three simple steps are all that seperate India from taking centerstage in international affairs. Unfortunately for India, again, nobody seems to be listening.

Three simple solutions for all of India's problems to solve themselves:

1. Cessation of the undervaluation of the Indian rupee vis-a-vis the US Dollar.
2. Reduction of the outrageous taxes on petrol in India and a corresponding strengthening of the tax regime to prevent people from evading tax to freeride on the 1 percent of the population that does pay tax.
3. A change in the election system, from the present first-past-the-post system, to a run-off system at all levels of government

Watch this space for explanations and justifications.

Newsworthy

2008-04-24T17:11:00.002-12:00

The media pays a lot of attention to news such as this...

I'm guessing that the details mentioned are to help people feel like they were present at the occasion. I guess this feat is very rare and tough, which is why the media is taking note of this. I also guess this news is out of the ordinary because of the following aspects...

1. Minor girls cannot be raped.
2. Policemen cannot rape.
3. Moving cars prevent rape.

If 1, 2 or 3 are fallacious assumptions, I wonder what is so special about the event that it merits national coverage.

Clairvoyance

2008-03-07T06:14:00.005-12:00

The world over, B-schools seem to think that candidates seeking entry into their hallowed corridors would be some kind of seers, prophets or visionaries. Or that they have access to a crystal ball or a tarot-card picking talking parrot to accurately and vividly explain the future to them. So do companies that seek to hire prospective employees in interviews that look for a “fit” with the organization. I’m talking, of course, of the “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” question. The tripe that we are expected to spew forth is nothing more than a mish-mash of wishful thinking molded as per the company’s requirements. Supposedly, whatever we mumble out is a sure-shot way of identifying if the knucklehead in front of him is capable of recommending entry strategies into the entry-level four-wheeler market for Japanese two wheeler manufacturers in emerging markets. The standard reply goes so... For a consulting firm interview, five years from now, you are supposed to be "acquiring competencies and knowledge of specific functions and industries", and ten years from now, you are supposed to be "actively engaging in business development, seeking out new clients for the firm and increasing the revenue stream from existing clients". For an investment bank interview, five years from now, you are supposed to be "recognized as an industry expert in a particular field". And ten years from now, you are supposed to be "actively engaging in acquiring new clients for the firm". Similar template answers can be found for marketing profiles, finance profiles, IT consulting profiles, you name it.

A few thoughts on that… How are companies going to discern whether we are being truthful about where we see ourselves five years from now or just pulling random words out of our behinds and stringing them to form barely coherent sentences? By peering into the future, five years from now, in a bleak post-apocalyptic wasteland, where we will be digging up roots in the search for water to quench our thirst, keeping an eye out for mutants, aliens and cannibals? Or by looking into our eyes, and reading our minds? If interviewers could actually look into the future, wouldn’t they have been making billions off the stock market all on their own (or making the right bets in various games of chance – Horse racing, poker, Greyhound racing), instead of wasting time interviewing all sorts of riff-raff that claims to have seen the future?

Conversely, if we knew where we would be five years from now, why would anybody with functional brain cells even bother applying to a million companies in the quest for a job? Would it not make much more sense to apply to just the company we see ourselves five years from now? If we actually knew where we would be five years from now, and told the interviewer exactly where we will be five years from now, how would the company believe it? Five years ago, in my second year of engineering, if I could state an exact description of my roles and responsibilities of the job I am about to join, would anybody have believed me?

I don’t know what I’ll be having for breakfast tomorrow. I don't know whether I'll be having breakfast tomorrow. When I get into a flight from Chennai to Bengaluru, I don’t know what would happen 45 minutes from now. How the heck would I know what I would be doing five full years ahead of today? The maximum somebody can say is that five years from now, he would be in some particular location, or some particular industry, or some particular hazy nebulous description of what you would like to be doing at some distant point in the future, and nothing beyond that. But then again, that would be mere wishful thinking. All you could say is that five years from now, you would be wearing sunscreen.

B-schoolia

2008-02-26T23:32:00.004-12:00

As yet another batch of managers ready themselves to join the workforce they seem to be welcomed into with open arms, most of us experience a tinge of nostalgia over the experiences of the past two years. Well, past 19 months, to be precise. For most of the managers-in-waiting, this represents the end of nearly 20 years of non-stop academia, and also the start of a new experience, into hitherto uncharted territory. And I’m sure that I would not be alone in expressing a feeling of relief when this is all over. The amount of learning over the last two years certainly seems disproportionate to the small window of time we spent here. Here’s a brief account of the takeaways from the time we spent running to stand still in the hallowed corridors of IIML.

The six day week: The disorienting experience of working on Saturdays has ensured that the weeks meld into one another. Wake up late on Sunday, after an enjoyable Saturday evening in Samanjasya, and you realize that half the weekend is already up. By the time this shock wears off, it is already time to “prepare” for the cases to be discussed in Monday’s classes.

The case study approach: A four page case followed by 25 pages of exhibits is hardly an enticing read. What makes it all the more surreal is the presence of balance sheet exhibits in a marketing case study, and the presence of market share data in a case on valuation. The principle of preparing for a case beforehand is often the first requisite of B-school learning that goes for a toss. So much so, that the effect of preparation for the cases is one aspect we MBAs seem to share with graduate students in the field of rocket science.

Team Work: The two words that are much bandied about in the interviews we need to clear before we enter the institute. Since every course necessarily has some component of teamwork, over time, the students have optimized the exercise to such an extent that to produce quality output, we don’t even need to meet up in one place and discuss anything anymore. Forty page outputs, replete with graphs, tables and frameworks, are generated in a matter of a few hours without one person in the team knowing what the other is doing. This optimization maximizes productivity, enabling a student to complete (from scratch) three projects while studying for three end-terms the next day. After all, multi-tasking is one aspect all of us have improved in, by leaps and bounds.

Globe, Projects and Presentations: There was a time when we were mortally scared of presenting our findings in front of a gathering of people we know. With six or seven presentations for each term, over two years, B-school has ensured that we can now talk about any subject for 15 minutes, without even having a look at the slides beforehand. Armed with interchangeable keywords (paradigm, global, synergy, leverage, competencies, strategies et al), students can hold the attention of a rapt audience with very little effort. This would surely help us in justifying out points of view to a diverse audience, making us ideal leadership material that the companies fight to hire.

The key here is how, over a two year period, the students have internalized various skills essential to be successful in the corporate world. The academic rigor practiced by IIM Lucknow has, in more ways than one, made the students ideal managers in a world that is rapidly changing. After all, life in the last two years has definitely made us more aware of the “real world”, far away from gear ratios, Reynolds numbers, Poisson’s ratios and pressure driven flows. Maybe that is what learning is all about…

Equality

2008-02-18T17:24:00.004-12:00

We all know that in the modern world, men and women are equal in all fields. Both men and women display equal power, skill, talent and dexterity in the world of sports. Womens' organizations have fought for equal winnings for both male and female tournaments, like the Tennis Grand Slams for example. Of course, it doesn't matter that men play five setters and women can't go for more than three. But, its fine, as long as they attract equal crowds. Purely due to their talent on-court. Not due to the lingerie they wear on court. Just talent. Maria Sharapova is as talented and powerful a player as Roger Federer. In fact, if Maria and Roger were to face off, the women's organizations would claim that Maria would knock the stuffing off Fedex. How about we change the format of tennis tournaments instead? In the first round, all the matches are gender-based, with a woman facing off against a man. Pure merit. May the best player win. I'm pretty sure the ladies' organizations would support that proposal.

The world has been fixated on men's cricket for a long time now. Despite the fact that women's cricket is capable of exhibiting similar depths of talent and skill as men's, it has been ignored by the cricketing boards, advertizers, and the cricket crazy population. This systemic bias against women's cricket has long led to complaints of women's cricket being treated as a second-class citizen to men's cricket, despite having similar earning potential. After all, there is nothing more watchable than 15 fully dressed women playing top quality cricket, is there?

Fortunately, BCCI has now decided to wake up to this huge untapped market. They are considering introduction of a cricket league for women on the lines of the IPL. The BCCI seems to be confident that the cricket-thirsty Indian public would pay through their noses to watch any cricketing action, as long as it is "made by BCCI".

I, for one, feel that such noble actions by the BCCI need to be encouraged. After all, the ICL is a renegade tournament, of poor quality, and does not deserve our attention. But women's sport is something else, altogether. Take, for example, the World Cup Qualifiers at Stellenbosch University held between Bermuda and South Africa. I'm sure we would all love to see more such matches. We have grown bored of batsmen hitting sixes and fours all the time, at the expense of the poor bowlers. Its time we restored balance. Its time we endorsed women's cricket.

Just look at the batsman in the photo there. She seems to be of the athletic kind, the type that could run a mile under six minutes. The stance and guard taken are perfect. A look at the scorecard reveals more aspects of professionalism in women's cricket, and why they deserve the same pay, prizes and public adulation as men. As many as three Bermudan players got off the mark. The 42 year old captain could give any test batsman a run for his money, with her determined 1 off 48 balls. The ten wides in the score of 13 that Bermuda made are proof of the fear the Bermudan batswomen generated among the South African bowlers. Also, as per the scorecard, the batsmen went to wrong ends after the break. Maybe they had a lot in their minds. Despite outwardly seeming to be unprofessional, they are actually very professional. After all, it is the effort that counts, not the end result, right?

The statement by the captain is also extremely touching. "I am extremely proud and our team is very proud to be here," she said. "Just a year and a half ago there was no women's programme so we went to Canada and qualified to come here which is an achievement in itself. In terms of women's cricket in Bermuda, it has come a long way but we still have a long way to go."

So, after a year and a half, Bermudan women have learnt how to enter a cricket field, and bowl at the gully, which would be an improvement from before, when the ball used to end up knocking umpires down after being released from the bowler's grip. They still don't know how to grip the bat, take guard, run for singles, hit fours, and bowl at the three stumps. But, considering that this is women's cricket, they don't have far to go. They might even be world champions in the next edition of the women's world cup.

Cheers to them.

PS: They "qualified" to come here from Canada. I really wonder whom they defeated to enter this qualifying round. Blind, deaf, one-limbed midgets?

Mr. Singh India

2008-02-04T17:47:00.000-12:00

I'm having a little bit of trouble trying to decide whom to vote for in this poll over here. All the candidates look equally deserving of my vote. Talk about an even field for candidates!

Inverse function

2008-01-26T21:07:00.000-12:00

I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and...I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our...

A few links

2008-01-02T05:39:00.000-12:00

Swapan Dasgupta : The Modi Charisma

Karan Thapar : Modification of Politics

Atanu Dey on Thapar's call for sudden removal of Modi

S Gurumurthy on Sonia being Caesar's wife

Why Modi appeals to Hindus

Modi on Inclusive development (Google Vid)

Arun Shourie 1

Arun Shourie 2

Greatbong on Benazir

Bhutto : The Daughter of the East (Youtube)

And if you have a lot of time, A compendium of sorts

God Bless America

2007-11-26T20:51:00.000-12:00

The dirty truth behind wrestling :)

... and somebody please tell me that this is not real!

Maury

Freak Strike

From the link -

The show averages about 3.5 million viewers per episode.

On July 16, 2007, The Maury Show was officially renewed through at least the 2010 season.

Why would anybody want to watch new episodes of the same shit over and over again? Why don't the producers just show the archive shit and save on the production cost?

PS: South Park has a viewership of 3.1 million. There is no god. :|

Globe

2007-11-02T20:39:00.000-12:00

Just an article on how international exposure adds to the skill set of Indian managers….

In the present scenario of rapid globalization, scarcely a day passes without headlines of another cross-country merger or acquisition. Indian companies are increasingly integrating themselves into the world economy. Thanks to the booming economy and positive growth prospects, Indian companies now have the ability to leverage their competencies to reap the maximum benefits, worldwide. The increasing number of foreign acquisitions points to India points to the increasing need for managers who have the ability to integrate the operations and culture of the acquired company to the Indian buyer.

Culture is a very fluid concept, with innumerable influences constantly altering its contours. Consequently, the passage of time has ensured multiplicity of cultures throughout the world. Subtle nuances of different cultures cannot be learnt theoretically, and misinterpreted signals could spell the doom of an alliance, no matter how financially beneficial it is. The best way to avoid such failures would be to have people who have experienced both the cultures first hand supervising the integration. It is here that the managers would find international exposure invaluable. Bridging the cultural gap by recognizing the sources and causes of resistance, these managers would be able to strengthen the merged entity by ensuring that the two cultures meld harmoniously.

The business world throws up plenty of examples where companies pay the price for making the mistake of viewing foreign cultures through the lens of their own. Eurodisney was one such example, where Disney made the mistake of assuming that Europeans are like the Americans and imposed the same rules and restrictions as in Disneyland, such as prohibition of alcoholic drinks within the park. The French felt this was arrogant of the American company, and Eurodisney was in the red till changes made the park more “European” in nature. Mistakes like these could be reduced if the people in charge are sensitized to the fact that not all cultures are like the home culture. As Indian companies seek to enter more and more international markets, a manager with a first-hand perspective on foreign cultures would certainly add more value than one with an India-centric view.

In the earlier days, companies could stay successful by observing the actions of its competitors and taking corrective action. However, with the lowering of trade barriers across boundaries, competition could spring up from any corner of the world. If the pre-globalized scenario is akin to a one-to-one sparring fight, the changed scenario resembles free-for-all guerilla warfare. It is much harder to determine where the next blow would come from. A minor change in a law, or a tariff, could lead to a cataclysmic change in the market, and the market leader could be edged out overnight by competition from where they least expect it. Toyota’s success in the American car market due to the fuel crisis in the ‘70s is an oft-quoted example. Managers with exposure to the best practices of different cultures would be able to equip the Indian companies against unforeseen circumstances.

As we progress toward a fully integrated world market, the importance of international exposure from the perspective of the Indian manager is all set to increase by leaps and bounds. The winner in the rocky climb ahead will most certainly be the one with the best equipment.

Round and Round and Round

2007-10-23T16:48:00.000-12:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Infirmofpurpus is proud to introduce to the civilized world

The next Himesh Reshammiya

Check out the tags. And needless to say, the video description.

Of course, such latent talent can often be spotted in IIM students. Since the admission process is holistic, taking into account factors other than just the usual parameters for admission (Intelligence, Literacy, Smartness et al) for the sake of diversity, the ones that pass through the IIM filter are much more likely to possess these wonderful talents than the one-dimensioned IITians.

Fair Play

2007-10-18T09:50:00.001-12:00

This is the thought process that governs male perceptions on women to this day. I find this outrageously prejudiced and condescending to the abilities and reasoning capabilities of women. In fact, I believe in equality, in every sense of the word. Here’s how the world would look like if I was its overlord. Let me paint you a picture:

In the office

Women and men would receive the same amount of pay for equal work hours and equal deliverables met. This means that regardless of sex, the workers cannot complain if they are required to stay back in office till 12 at night twice or thrice a week. The workers would be paid according to their output and contribution to the company, not merely based on their working hours. Women-only cabs would be banned as discriminatory, and the outrageously chauvinistic pick-up and drop facilities currently offered by the companies would be stopped immediately. Either the company provides transport to all, or transport to none. There can be no two ways about this. Resumes will necessarily have to be registered in a national repository under a specified account. In place of the candidate’s name, the account number allotted should be printed. All interviews would have to be carried out telephonically with voice modulators that disguise the sex of the interviewee and interviewer. Proceedings should also be videotaped to prevent allegations of sexual discrimination in hiring. This would ensure that recruitment is based entirely on merit, and not on the sex of the candidate. Also, the companies can move men and women both with the same ease they currently transfer men now from Bengaluru one day to Patna the next. Women would be free to work in mines, as the sexist laws currently in order in India deny women the opportunity to go 250 feet down a dark shaft to dig up coal in a workplace that would probably resemble the dwelling of a gigantic mole (and probably smell just as bad). Those bastards!

In the Army

There have been reports of harassment of the female officers by their male counterparts in the past. The only way to stop this would be to improve the current dismal levels of recruitment of women into the army. Women should make up 50% of the workforce in each division of the army. Especially the combat units. After all, isn’t it the dream of every man/woman who enlists to play a pivotal role in victory in a battle? Denying the glory is essentially a clever ploy to keep women subjugated to the typical wartime roles of stitching uniforms and writing letters. By preventing women from frontal combat against the enemies, the men in the army ensure that they gain all the recognition. Look at the number of women war heroes war vis-a-vis men, and you will realize the amount of discrimination in the army that passes off as legitimate.

The Laws

The prevalent regressive adultery laws in India treat women as the property of men. The chairperson of the National Commission for Women has claimed this is because in the cases of adultery, women are always the gullible and blissfully ignorant victims who need rehabilitation and compensation, and men are the scheming perpetrators who deserve to be punished. This is an insult to the intelligence of the fairer sex. Domestic violence should be encompassed to include nagging, in the interests of true equality. The dowry laws would definitely have to go. It is a shame that we live in a society where just some laws follow the "guilty until proven innocent" theory and some don't. Thanks to this loophole, men would always claim that they are innocent if women complain against them. Recent court judgments, claiming that the verbal testimony of a woman is enough to convict men accused of rape would have to encompass women too. If women are accused of harassment, they would have to be dragged out of their homes, in full public view, then dragged to the police station, bound and gagged, subjected to the "helicopter" torture and beaten to pulp on ice till she confesses of her misdemeanors. A few confessions of women who beat their men could provide a much needed boost to the butch image of women, who would be deemed equals to men. And needless to say, after the confession, some women should be lynched in public as men accused of rape sometimes are. The lynch mob should be, by regulation, overwhelmingly female. This would get the world to take notice that women can be as judgmental as men can be. The current philosophy of “It is better to hang 10 innocent men, rather than haul up 1 guilty woman” reeks of chivalry, and has no place in modern civilization.

In Sport

Men and women would earn equal price money on the tennis field. The rules would be the same, whether the match is being played between men, women or among them. Women would then battle it out in 3 hour 5 setters. Men in the audience will be given Oestrogen before matches between women. This would ensure that they are watching the right balls bounce, without being distracted by the physical appearance of the players. Equal focus shall be given to both the male and female versions of cricket. Cricket boards around the world would have to ensure that the women’s matches are as well attended as men’s cricket. The prices and contracts would be non-discriminatory. Right now, women's cricket does not garner the same amount of eyeballs as women's tennis. This could be changed if the women adopted less "conservative" clothing, as is the norm in tennis or beach volleyball. Well, only if the players are relatively decent looking, that is. Another thing that needs to be done for both versions of cricket to be equally popular is to equalize the intensity of both the versions. The current “fastest” woman bowler bowls at 120 kmph, while the men bowl above 150 kmph. This is just like tennis, where women serve at 120 mph, while men serve at 150 mph. That’s hardly a gap that cannot be bridged by genetic engineering or steroids. Alternatively, men could be given Valium. The current practice of separate sets of rules in the male and female versions of basket ball would have to go.

Miscellany

Chivalry would be an offence punishable with castration. The "Women and children first" rule in evacuations would be outlawed. No seats would be reserved for women anywhere. Not in buses, not in parliaments. It would be illegal for either spouse to ask the other to lift heavy objects. Women shall not be objectified as they currently are. Every ad campaign must have the same number of scantily clad men as women, or clothed men as women. The offensive stereotyping of women as mere objects of lust should stop. The last vestiges of the cave man’s feelings should be snipped away like an inflamed appendix.

Building Rome

2007-10-04T09:01:00.001-12:00

Check this out

The paragraphs were split by the guys who printed this. They gave the captions too. Don't ask. Here's the original:

Reams have been written about the competitive nature of the CAT examination. With less than the top 3 percentile clearing the elimination round, this is as exclusive as it gets. However, the questions asked do not require an in-depth knowledge of any particular undergraduate field, which is partly the cause for the lure associated with the exam in the first place. Logic, time management skills, language skills and data interpretation abilities are the primary tools the candidate needs to possess to shine through. The questions can be answered with techniques learnt in high school. What differentiates the successful candidates is their ability to solve these questions with great speed and accuracy, thanks to proficiency in the underlying concepts that are being tested.

Of late, the focus of the CAT paper has shifted from speed to accuracy, as evinced by the progressive reduction in the number of questions, from 150 to 90, and the corresponding increase in the level of complexity of the questions. As there are fewer questions, the relative importance of each question increases. This means that one can no longer afford to ignore topics within a particular section that he isn’t comfortable with. The concept of negative marking ensures that the candidates do not randomly pick choices. The only way out is regular practice. Simulated tests offered by various institutes offer the serious candidate a chance to rank himself against the others and focus the attention of the candidate to areas he needs to strengthen himself. This is invaluable help for it holds up a mirror to the candidate and shows him the aspects that need to be rectified, and the ones that need to be fortified.

A few guidelines for the aspirants: Remember that you are not expected to answer ALL the questions. There is no point in spending a disproportionate amount of time on a single question. Time management is the key differentiator to determine success in this examination. Set your ego aside, and accept that there will always be questions whose answers elude you. It is essential that you concentrate on a particular question without being diverted by the questions you failed to answer. This simple strategy protects your most valuable resources from being wasted – Time and Focus. Differential marking demands that you pay special attention to the marks allocated to each question, and allocate time accordingly. This is to ensure that you prioritize when under pressure, a skill necessary when you enter the hallowed portals of the IIMs. At the onset, focus on clearing the sectional cutoffs. It would not be of much help if you score 100 percentile in one section, but fail to clear the sectional cutoffs. Usually, the overall cutoff is not much higher than the sum of the individual cutoffs. If you clear all the individual cutoffs and do well in just one of the three sections, you can expect to sail past the overall cutoff.

And once again, practice. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.

Desperado

2007-10-04T08:28:00.000-12:00

“Focus” is one of the most abused words in the clichéd answers that MBAs spit out while filling out the HR forms of various companies that ask for their strengths. The standard answer for such silly questions is “I am very focused” which is another way of claiming “I can burn paper just concentrating hard on it”. After all, the ideal employees for any company would be ones that forget to eat or go home when they are assigned a project, as they are “focusing” on it.

“Focus” is mere b-school jargon for “Desperate”. The guys who claim they are focused are usually guys who would be willing to do *anything* for an extra mark. More often than not, the ‘focus’ function goes on increasing with the following attributes:

Worked in ABC software Inc…
Married…
And with two kids…

And again, more often than not, the ‘CG’ function goes on increasing with the following attributes:

Worked in ABC software Inc…
Married…
And with two kids…

Imagine this. You are 30-something. You've quit your job because you got admission in an IIM after writing CAT four times. Your classmates were still wearing diapers when Indira Gandhi was assassinated. You have a wife and two kids back home. Your wife currently wears the pants in the family. Your kids have examinations tomorrow, and you are instructing them to read well for the exam. And you are studying hard for a bullshit test in a useless subject that counts for 2 marks out of 100 in the final evaluation. On a Sunday night. And you have an assignment to complete after that. Could the situation get any more desperate? If you were in the position of that poor guy, would you not study "the effects of diversity on the organizational culture in mature organizations in the medium term in a developing economy" like your life depended on it? Because it literally does.

Is there any actual value add that you gain by entering a B-school with work experience? No. The only subjects that emphasize on work experience, like Organizational Behavior, are the ones that ought to be reserved exclusively for people who display an astonishing lack of common sense. “People find it difficult to work in teams”. Wow! No shit, Sherlock! I couldn’t have figured that out if I hadn’t wasted three years of my life in an organization.

What about the US? The preferred (not ONLY) route there is to do an MBA after 4 or 5 years or work experience in a *real* job. This means that the people getting in are not the type that would have to write CAT four times before an interview call is thrown their way. This also means that when people open their mouths to speak in class about their experiences, they actually have something meaningful to say. Rather than just “I was working in ABC. There we had this ‘casual Fridays’, where we could come to office naked, waist-up. This was to keep an informal atmosphere at work, encouraging an open culture where synergies between different units could be leveraged to the fullest extent possible”. Bah.

Is the situation the same in India, so that the practice of preferring ‘experienced’ candidates followed by US schools can be shifted as-is, to Indian schools? Let us look at the quality of the ‘experience’. In the US, you could gain experience by working in Wall-Street as a trader for four years. Or by working in product development for one of the million global corporations that thrive on innovation. In India, the standard route taken from college passes through four years of engineering (branch does not matter), culminating in a software job (company does not matter, ‘platform’ does not matter) that has come to India just because of the price advantage. You sit on the bench for months on end, but finally, in the CAT form, it all boils down to just two little boxes where you enter the number of months you have ‘worked’. It does not matter whether you played pool in the Infy Mysore campus or invented Web 3.0. It’s just the number of months that count. You could always impress the interviewer in the CAT interview by showing your “focus” towards achieving the target deliverables. It still counts as work ‘experience’. Next up, the choice factor. In the US, you get into the b-schools with workex by choice. Unlike in India, where you get into the b-schools with workex by chance, primarily because you had to attempt CAT multiple times before you get in. Given a choice of entering the IIMs today, with no experience, or later, with four years of experience, most of the aspirants would opt for the former.

Which brings us back to *why* is workex considered as value add to enter B-schools.

B-schools in India are trying to shift *their* focus from picking up the smartest people to enter the IIMs to picking up the ones that would eagerly swallow any shit thrown their way by way of oppressive rules, ridiculous timetables and bad mess food. And here is where the industry steps in, accelerating the dulling out of all the sparks of intelligence retained by the student despite years of hard work by the engineering college professors, pop music, left-leaning media, Yash Chopra and Balaji Telefilms.

I should try this out sometime. Perform mindless tasks for 12 hours a day, six days a week, for four years. If I can still remember Pink Floyd, I’d consider myself lucky enough to escape workex coma. Imagine traveling for two hours to sit in front of a computer, refreshing your mail once every two minutes to check if you received an inane forward in the time interval when you went to take a leak. That would be as interesting as watching a rock erode, or snails mate. Naturally, you’re desperate to get out of that job. Hence, you land up in a B-school. And you’re desperate to get into a good job after that. So you end up being much more ‘focused’ than the ones that manage to sneak in without work experience. And *that* is the only edge that workex gives you to handle B-school life better.

PS: Note the words ‘most’, ‘usually’ and ‘more often than not’.

Chivalry

2007-08-11T15:13:00.000-12:00

Kuro: What are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you hold the door open for women?
Kuro: Or do you rush through and let it close in her face?
Octa: I rush through and lock the door behind me. If she's able to climb through the window, she's a keeper.
Kuro: Do you open the window for her?
Octa: Yes. But it's the second-story window.
Kuro: Do you leave her a ladder?
Octa: No. I expect her to lash together a ladder out of rope and wood.
Kuro: Do you leave her rope?
Octa: No. I expect her to weave a rope out of natural available materials.
Octa: Grasses and vines and stuff.
Kuro: Do you leave her those materials?
Octa: I leave her seeds.

PS: Not an original :)

Guess Who

2007-07-27T08:10:00.000-12:00

Check comments.

Insti Lingo

2007-07-18T02:52:00.001-12:00

Cuppax freshies junta puts fight rag n type Fundaes Bong CGPA arbit pseud mess grub shit rice OAT profs fart Tam Assignment fag RG crash Gurunath matcha slisha Tarams pack slam bulb KLPD muggu cash Dig Peace Da hajaar CLT ulti stud-level end-sem SAC non-male dayscis Gult Chillax crib frooty quiz night outs pondy Duh! Mallu Convo

Meow

2007-07-02T02:32:00.000-12:00

This could have been a funny take on IIM admissions, if only it weren't so macabre and close to the truth. Thanks for the mail, Chintu Nano saar :)

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Student 1: Dear Sir. I have got 99.33, 99.72 in 2 sections and a 99.84 overall, but only 95.32 in the other section. Can I get a call, Dear PROF, from IIMA.

Prof/IIMA: What????, IIMA Call?. Don’t you see you are not competent enough to cope up with the rigorous 2 year course we conduct here. Had you scored 0.02 %ile more you could have proved yourself to be competent enough to pursure a course and joined the ranks of MS Banga and Harsha Bogle. With a poor 95.32%ile in one section, All I can tell you is plz study more.

Student 1: Sir, How about the chances from IIMB.

Prof/IIMB: Ha ha ha ha ha.. IIMB.. ha ha ha.. (Gearing up itself somehow to answer the question).. Fine.. I will anyway try to answer your question.. I need a few more details to answer your question anyway.. like..

1) What is your Date of Birth. It must fall between May 14th and Dec22nd. Else doubtful. Let’s see. There are some rare cases who get thru with some leniency in that. Anyway, best of Luck on that.

2) 10th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 83.11 % in that

3) 12th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 86.76 % in that

4) Work-ex. Just the number of months would do fine. You need not tell whether you did it Microsoft, Google or Kandasamy mudaliar Textile mill at chittoor.. It does not matter much. We need diversity, you know. We also dont like differentiating between people based on illogical data like this.

5) CAT %ile. Now, wait. This is the trickiest part. We are still awaiting the results from Las Vegas Casinos were our profs are playing. They are yet to finish the game. Prof X (who has a bet on keeping VA cut-off at 88.32%ile) is losing badly. He needs to improve on his casino skills. Prof Y is winning the game. He had pegged it at 96.32%ile. lets see.. Last year Prof Z won hands down with a 85%ile in DI. A few bugging students sneaked into our institute thru that. Lets see how many more get lucky this year. But lemme say guys, Its fun. Casinos are fun. The above rules are very well applicable for other IIMs too, though some leniency maybe allowed.

Student 1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Somehow composing himself to ask the next question)

Student 1: But Sir, almost none of these can be changed by me now. I dont have any control over it at this stage of my life.

Prof: Obviously. You can’t change. And thats what we love the most. You have absolutely no control over your destiny. We control it. You heard it right? Anyway.. We do have a backdoor entry. If you score 99.95+ in all three sections and a 99.98+ overall, you may be exempted from all this. But again, its a "maybe". So please dont have high hopes. Let’s see.

Student 2: Sir, I have scored 99.81 overall and a 99.96 in quants, 99.14 in verbal but a 78.17 in DI coz of a bad day. I have received no calls from none of the IIMs till now. But I have good work-ex, can very well think logically and am suited to do an MBA from the top IIMs. I can obviously handle the rigour.

Prof: ROTFL.. My God! a 78.17 in DI.. Do these profs release these types of below average percentiles too. Yuck! I never knew anyone can get a 78.17 in DI. pretty surprising. And were you talking about calls from the IIMs. First you need to explain to them what a 78.17 means.

Student 2: But sir a 99.96 in quants and a 99.81 overall and a 99.14 in VA. Does that not look attractive enough to study at IIMs ABCLI?

Prof: Sorry.. I could not hear properly.. What did you tell your score was in DI?

Student 2 (losing his cool): WTF. WTF do you want to know. I got a f'in 78.17 in DI and finally all you buggers decided I am incompetent to think logically. You decide that since I could not crack one more set in DI, I am not fit for management. Blah Blah Blah..

Prof: Beta.. Tension mat le.. See. I will let you out one trade secret. We ourselves are pretty confused in how to eliminate people. Its a nice game with us and the computer. We keep changing one variable or the other till the calls for each instis touches the required number. In fact how to predict the right nos so that we can give results in 3 weeks itself is now a casestudy at IIMA.

Student 2 (stammering to ask the next question): But sir.. You will be losing out on lots of good students coz of this.

Prof: So?

Student 2: "So?".. What question was that? I told, you will be losing out on a few deserving students, some who may have got 97%ile or 95%ile overall but for whom an MBA would suit much well in their career goals.

Prof: Career goals..? What is that. I never knew our guys here talk about that. We know numbers. Talk numbers to us. and only numbers. Nothing else matters. And better if the nos are higher.

Student 1: :|

Student 1: Ok. Lets talk Numbers. You have given calls to some students with overall 97.5 %ile too but not someone with a 99.75%ile. How does it work.

Prof: Oh, You guys figured it out huh.. These youngsters are smart nowadays. Anyway, promise you won’t tell it to anyone.

Student 1: Promise Sir.

Prof: I believe you. When we were working seriously on Dec 30th, that bugging programmer had boozed a bit. Instead of typing 98.75%ile, he typed 97.5%ile in the computer program and some buggers may have sneaked in. Dont worry. We will take care of them in the interview.

Student 1: But sir,He may actually be a good candidate.

Prof: How can he be a good candidate. He got 97.5%ile overall.

Student 2 (butting in): Oh Man! Did dhirubhai score a 99.5, did lakshmi nivas mittal score a 99.5.. did..

Prof: Stop, Stop.. Why should they score.. We dont create people like them. We create people who can work for them.

Student 1: Sir. We are speechless. Anyway.. We have a question and a suggestion. question first. How come IIM A/B/C have called a candidate who may have 97+ sectionals and 99+ overall but not IIM L/I/K.

Prof: Hmmm.. Thats a very good question. What happened was these 3 IIMs wanted to show to the outside world that they are unique. Hence they chose a different casino this time and played a different game amongst themselves. Mebbe cut-off changed coz of that. And what Suggestion? We dont like suggestions.

Student 1: Plz listen once.

Prof: We listening to others. He he.. Proceed.

Student 1: Why can’t you select people the way International B Schools do by finding out more about the personal characteristics of the student so that you can find whether he is better suited for management rather than just depending on nos.

Prof: Personal characteristics.. You mean height, weight, hip size etc..? We were thinking about it in 1997 but..

Student 2: No No.. (In horror and controlling his temper).. We mean his aptitude do to management, his potential, his passion, his career goals, how an MBA from IIM will help him.. etc. In those lines..

Prof: Are you serious. We can’t read the applications of 191,000 buggers. then we have to conduct CAT'07 for batch 2012. You are absolutely illogical. No wonder you scored a below average percentile in logical reasoning. Ha ha ha.

Student 2: (You #$^%^%*& ). You somehow got the point though not exactly. conducting CAT'07 for CAT'12 batch. We advice CAT to be designed in the lines of GMAT which has 5 years validity and is standardized.

Prof: OMG! That means our annual profs trip to Las vegas will be cancelled. I dont think they will agree to your suggestion. And what is the crap about 5 year validity. How can the intelligence of a person not change in 5 years. We believe it will change every year, in fact every week also if CAT is conducted so often.

Student 2: CAT is supposed to test Aptitude and not intelligence and aptitude will not change much in 5 years. It will benefit the student community immensely since they can give CAT in the final year, concentrate on their careers and then join MBA after 3-4 years after understanding business and corporate life. They can also concentrate on extra curriculaars etc. Because of CAT, the career of many people is jeopardized and none of the serious working CAT takers know what extracurriculars is.

Prof: Agreed. But what about the Las vegas trip?

Student 1 and 2: Fainted.

Prof (gets a phone call): Are Sharma bhai. kahan hai tu.. Still playing at the casinos? You guys have real fun time.. So who won the game and whats the cut-off for QA this year.. What.. 89.11 ile huh.. Who won the game.. Ok.. Visit the miami beach.. (and he walks off speaking)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The truth is that the IIMs don't look for the best students to take in. They seem to have a preset target for the number of candidates with different labels that they decide to take in, and don't bother about student intake quality as long as these labels are present. A few labels : Work Ex, Female, Arts graduate, Science graduate et al. Who cares about taking the best brains in, as long as you have a brand name?

3 Simple Rules

2007-06-27T07:38:00.001-12:00

In this globalized world, there is way too much information on conflicts all over the globe. The information regarding the conflicts is very likely to confuse any normal guy, and he could very well end up taking the wrong side when debating who is right and who is wrong in the latest crisis gripping some random location on the world map over endless night outs with quizzes scheduled the next day. The arrival of google news has ensured that the distinction between analysis and opinions are now blurred and hidden in light green font that nobody notices. Not everybody has the time required to get to the root of the problem, glean information on both the warring sides and the conflict from independent sources and then pass a definite judgment as to who is right and who is not.

Also, way too many surveys that come out with so-called ‘scientific ratings’ and rankings about which is the ‘best college in India’ and the likes. Pick up three magazines and you have nine different ‘best college in India’s based on various parameters, such as ‘Faculty strength’, ‘Facilities’ and other assorted heads that are unrelated to any aspect of student life in the various colleges. This ensures that the student stays as confused as before, if not any more. This also absolves the magazine from actually taking a stand and actually claiming that a particular college is the ‘best(est) college’ (if there is such a thing). I would classify this as the “I never told you so” clause.

Here is a ready reckoner for both these issues. The solution to both of the questions, How to decide who is right, and how to decide which is best, is startlingly simple. The parameters used are so simple you would be questioning yourself as to how you did not think of these very basic, and very important, parameters before you read it here. Curious? Not so fast…

I have to insert my own “I never told you so” clause to prevent any misunderstandings that could arise.

The rules are empirical in nature. There is no definite scientific formulaic proof for validation of the said rules. The rules were framed entirely from personal observations only.

Rule 1 is applicable for any groupings that are in conflict with each other. One religion fighting with another. One language fighting another. One ethnic group fighting another. One region fighting another. Rule 1 is applicable, not just in India, but wherever there is a conflict of interest.

Rule 2 is specific to Indian engineering and management schools only. Unfortunately, I do not have the requisite experience to encompass liberal arts majors within the purview of my observations. That’s mainly because I have focused on courses that would attract the best students of the country/region, and not the remnants at the bottom of the pyramid. Hence, Engineering, Management, and nothing else, as most of the students who enter other streams opt for them by chance, not by choice. Remember: MOST. Though there are exceptions, in India, in the current time frame, the fields with the highest demand are engineering and management.

Both the solutions are ‘generalist’ in nature. There are bound to be a few conflicts where the rule does not hold. There are bound to be a few exceptions to the rule about colleges. These exceptions don’t disprove the rules. They could just be a few who managed to skip under the scanner. Remember, there is a word ‘Generally’ attached to both the rules.

Bonus Rule (Rule 3) is also general in nature. YOU could very well be the exception. If you are, please leave your contact details in the comments section. I’ll get in touch :D

Rule 2 is applicable to INDIAN B-schools and Engg. colleges only. The US is no longer a meritocracy. MIT would admit Ambani's kids if there is a promise of a grant or a sizeable donation in the offing. The IITs won't :)

Here are the rules

*Drumroll*

Rule 1: Generally, when two entities are engaged in conflict, the fault always lies with the one that has a higher rate of reproduction than the other.

Rule 2: Generally, when comparing two colleges, compare the sex ratio of the previous batches. The higher the male to female ratio, the better it is, intellectually.

Rule 3: Generally, which college has better looking girls? Check out the one with a lower male to female ratio.

Why? Figure it out. I’m not saying anything that may be misconstrued as racist/sexist blablabla. Good luck.

Faith

2007-06-26T07:17:00.000-12:00

Check this out: A and B are two engineering students, pretty serious about each other. They plan to get married soon after they pass out of college. B has not told her parents about A. A moves to a management college to pursue MBA education. A and B spend half their waking hours every day on the phone, updating each other about the color of the socks they are wearing, the number of spoons of sugar they just put into their coffee, the number of blank pages left in their notebooks…. you know, just the various normal important facts of life about each other that every couple just SHOULD know. Everything was fine till almost a year was up.

B decides to tell her parents about A, and their plans to get married as soon as A passes out of college. The parents are pissed off, but finally come around and accept that their opinion was not asked when their daughter made her decision regarding this.

Anyhoo, A decides that the phone bills are too costly, and searches for a closer alternative to B. He connects with a certain C in his class. The two hit it on like a house on fire. A year into the MBA program, and A and C are a couple. B is left high and dry.

Feeling bad for B? Don't! Here's why...

Considering this background, I was wondering what could be the corniest statement B could say to A after she discovers that A is dating someone behind her back, or immediately after they break up. Wait up, here it is:

“How could you do this to me????????”

You see, just like in any other market, there are two risks associated with love: Systematic and Unsystematic. Unsystematic risk is the risk associated specifically with the person you are dating, while systematic risk is the risk associated with the entire concept of love itself. For example, if everybody who loves is retarded, it would be classified as systematic risk, but on the other hand, if just the person you are going out with loves hip-hop music and considers himself to be someone working in “hi-tech sector” when he is employed as a bug-fighter/code-warrior, it would be classified as unsystematic risk.

When a person is of the type that falls for you, nothing stops him/her from falling for someone like you, or even a better version of you. It would be ridiculous to expect that anybody who falls for you is incapable of falling for anybody else. Would that not be like expecting some part of his/her brain to suddenly stop working once he/she found ‘you’?

Oh Damn.... Maybe that part IS true!

PS: There is nothing sexist in the situation given. A broke up with his girl B, and C broke up with her boyfriend D. After all, ‘love’ infects both sexes in equal measure, right?

Bombay Rocks

2007-05-15T23:26:00.000-12:00

I'm currently in Bombay for two months, and I've come across this question often.

Question: Hey, howz Bombay?

The answer is: Bombay Rocks.

Which basically means that Bombay is triangular in shape (Or something like it), filthy, filled with concrete, has plenty of pan spit all over it, and is dangerously close to the rising sea.

:)

My First Joke

2007-05-04T21:54:00.000-12:00

Q. What is Dalit Movement?

A. Backwards

Of Chamomile Tea and Skylon 4

2007-04-26T17:36:00.000-12:00

Trippy mail I got today morning... Thanks, Vipro

-----------------------------------------------------------

Here's a prime example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

-------------------------------------------

THE STORY:

(First paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

*A+ - I really liked this one.*

Kannada Remakes!

2007-02-16T03:02:00.000-12:00

A list of names of upcoming kannada movies inspired by english ones.
Loadsa acknowledgements to ppl who contributed... Chintu, Hari, Raptor, et al....

More to follow if and when I find enthu... Enjoy maadi!

Lord Of The Rings - Ungurada Gowdru
The Big Sleep - GaDaddu Nidde
The Big Lebowski - Dodda Lakshmanappa
Gods Must Be Crazy - Devarugalu Huchchru Ansutte
Schindler's List - Siddegowdan Patti
Malèna - Manjula
Crash - Dhadaal
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly - Dr. Rajkumar, Shivrajkumar, Raghvendra Rajkumar
Dr.Strangelove - Vichchitradpreeti Dactru
American Beauty - Aiholedu Pigaru
The Great Dictator - Deve Gowdru
2 Mules For Sister Sara - Sheelakkange Eradu Kattegalu
Psycho - Huchcha (Think this is a real kannada movie)
The Exorcist - Aa Mantravaadi
Pitch Black - Tumba Kaththale
The Dirty Dozen - Galeej Gumpu
Run Lola Run - Ode Lingamma Odu
Blade Runner - Choori Chikka
Reservoir Dogs - Sankeytank Naayigala
Bend it like beckham - Beckham Thara baggisu
What Lies Beneath - Kelage yenide
Oklahoma County - Oklipura County
Saving Private Ryan - Private Ramuvannu kapadi
Honey I shrunk the kids - Le naanu maklannaa chikkouraagi madDe Kane
Body heat - Mai bisi
Pirates of the Caribbean - Karwarada samudra kallaru
V for vendetta - Va andre vyamoha
God must be crazy - Devarige thale sariyilla
Devil's advocate - Bhootayyan vakeela
Jurassic park - Devaiyya Park (malleshwaram) ;-)
The Thing - Aa vastu
Saw 2 - Garagasa 2
Spiderman - Jeda manushya
Mission:Impossible - Aagadiro kelasa
Mission:Impossible-2 - Aagadiro kelasa - erdu
Mission:Impossible-3 - Aagadiro kelasa - thirdu
HP and the Sorcerer's Stone - Hari Kumbaara mattu mantravaadiya kallu
Terminator - Mugisuvava
Dirty rotten scoundrels - Kolaku koletha mundevu
Once upon a time in Mexico - Ond sarti Mandyadalli...
American Pie - Mysore pak
Edward Scissorhands - Eddappa katrikayyi
The Animal - Praani
The hot chick - Bisi hakki
The Italian job - Arsikere kelasa
Die another day - Innond dina saayi
Home alone - Obbne maneli
Gladiator - Gadhadhara
Big trouble in Little China - Chikmarket li dodd kiriku
Sleepless in Seattle - Kollegaaladalli nidde illa
Dead Poets Society - Satthuhoda kavi sammelana
se7en - Yelu
Superman - Shaktimaan
The Godfather - Devaiyyanavaru
12 Angry Men - Hanneradu kopistaru
Pulp Fiction - Chutney olu
I, Robot – Nanu, yantrika vastu
The man who would be king - Raajanaaguva manushya (i.e. Mayura!!!)
The Departed – Horetu Hodavaru

Resolutions

2006-12-30T23:01:00.000-12:00

A few resolutions for 2007:

1. Blog regularly
2. Remove the comments section from my blog
3. Lose weight
4. Go to the gym more often
5. Avoid writers block....
6.....

Shit!

Deadlines

2006-12-01T23:34:00.000-12:00

Have you ever felt like your head was pressed against a cold steel rail, with an icy voice informing you that the steady rumble you hear is the sound of inevitability? Ever remembered waking up screaming as you realize one more deadline has just whizzed past you? Welcome to the real world.

Have you ever felt like Spaceman Spiff, clutching on to your mordo blaster for dear life, when the professor is scanning the class for people to ask questions about the case you were supposed to have gone through but could not? Ever noticed that the workplace adage ‘The boss wants it yesterday’ seems to be true in the field of higher education too? Ever seen a 100 meter dash on TV and exclaimed that even without the aid of anabolic steroids, you have run faster than the winner, just to get to class in time? Ever wondered why there are just 24 hours in a day to do work that could barely be completed in 48? If yes, you seem to be a student of the first year of management in the Indian Institute of Management, Lucknow.

The one thread binding all the first years together, irrespective of undergraduate background, age, sex and favorite power ranger, seems to be the exasperation faced due to seemingly impossible deadlines and the fatigue brought about by the act of trying to master the art of running to stand still. Coupled with the favorite companion of the typical student, Procrastination, and a Garfieldesque fear of Mondays, the task of satisfying deadlines seem to consume almost as many resources as being in a relationship. Too bad there ain’t no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. All you get there is another deadline. Bah!

Now does the deadline have an affinity to Indian MBA students alone? Anecdotal evidence suggests it does not. Many of the author’s friends who have flown to the land of opportunity to pursue higher education in the field of pure science and engineering are actively hounded by the stop clock day and night. They do not have time to cook the vaguest gooey stuff that could at best have been classified under the category ‘Unmentionables’ in the Indian menu. They do not have time to learn obscure Mexican swear words, to be brandished in a war of wits with their friends back home. All thanks to their guides who manage to give them just about enough work to ensure they spend Saturday evening in the library or laboratory when the rest of the western hemisphere is engrossed in Bacchanalia. The eye that sees all does not seem to have geographical limits to its reach.

So how does one escape this ever tightening noose? Modern management gurus have, after extensive studies, concluded that reprioritization of all the tasks at hand could be a solution. Classifying all pending work as unimportant, not necessary, avoidable, piddling, nonessential and irrelevant would go a long way in spreading the workload out to manageable proportions. This would also let the protagonist spend time in meeting a few of his personal targets, like the maximum number of hours one can sleep without slipping into hibernation, or the maximum number of Hollywood action movies one can watch before the eyes start seeing moving walls in real life and gun-totting silhouettes in the hostel zone. Of course, it would help if one could visualize the approaching deadline as a speeding bullet and take evasive action accordingly. With enough time and practice, a veteran could even reach a trance-like state that ensures he doesn’t even notice the deadlines whizzing by. According to leading consultant firms, from a career point of view, this skill is as important as any net present value calculation or market segmentation strategy.

Finally, a word of advice from one of the Zen masters in the field of dodging deadlines, Wally:

So the next time you reprioritize a deadline, remember… you first read about this method here in Octa's blog. :-)

ZIKE Flyers

2006-10-11T01:38:00.000-12:00

Just a video we made here. I'm the guy behind the camera :)

The Unknown Citizen

2006-10-01T07:56:00.000-12:00

This is one of the very few works of literature that has left a lasting haunting impression on me. This is an epitaph written about a particular citizen by the state. There was nothing special about this citizen. There was nothing to distinguish him from the rest of the teeming millions that inhabited the same planet he did. This tiny poem conveys the essence of the assembly line type industrial worker whose entire purpose in life is to be a sheep and follow the rest of the herd. This tiny poem conveys exactly what 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Metropolis and Equilibrium warn humanity about.

He represents a concept I abhor, nay dread. He represents someone I have as a target as to "Who NOT to become". He represents the main reason why I desired education in premier education institutes where merit is the ONLY criterion to enter (Note: The non general category students are not considered here. People who put 80 percentile in CAT don't deserve to be in IIMs and people who put single digit marks in JEE don't deserve to be in IITs. They don't deserve the tag, they don't go far in life, they are not IITians or IIMites). The protagonist in the poem that follows is an epitome of anonymity. And needless to say, mediocrity.

"The Unknown Citizen" by W.H.Auden

He was found by the bureau of statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the greater community.

Except for the war till the day he retired
He worked in the factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.

The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to poetry were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health Card shows he was once in a hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A gramophone, a radio, a car, and a frigidaire.

Our researchers into public opinion are content
That he held the popular opinions for the time of year.
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenists say was the right number for a parent of his generation,
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he Happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we certainly should have heard.

Come to think of it, this resembles the life of any random software engineer in Bangalore. Guess it might not be too much of a surprise why I do not want to be one myself.

Bihari brains

2006-09-29T07:22:00.000-12:00

So theres this state called Bihar in the Indian Union. Its known for Laloo, Rabdi, fodder, the lack of development and Biharis. The first four have made life difficult for the fifth, who has to go out of his homeland to make a living. So much so that the average net-savvy Bihari is always on the defensive, defending his place of origin. How does he do this? By screaming from rooftops (In the virtual world, this means UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION) that Bihar is heaven on earth, even when the levels of human development in the state are there for all to see. By coming up with claims with the same beliveability quotient as 'The Eagle has landed', ' I did not have sexual relations with that woman' and 'India can be a developed nation by 2020'

Needless to say, because of the below-par english standards prevalent in the great state, the end product of such defensiveness in an english social networking site is quite a sight, indeed. A few of the Bihar-related orkut communities would make my point clearer.

1. The Bihari
2. Bihar brains
3. "Education+Bihari=DeadlyCombo"
4. ENGINEERS 4M BIHAR N JHARKHAD
5. jai bihar

A quick look at the community descriptions is enough to leave anybody in splits. Ladies and gentlemen... Octa Inc takes great pleasure in presenting a few of the gems in the community descriptions.

1. Bihar is a state with glorious history and someday it will come out of the dark times to lead the way for the world as it did a few millenia ago.

2. Hi welcome here ..
this is going to be an NGO..by some eminet biharis...

Bihar is well known for the hub of technical brains,paradise for the intellect, center for learning religious values& cultural ethics since ancient times. This must be retained and regarded by us. We do strongly feel that there should be co-ordination, co-operation and active association of intellectuals from India and abroad who concern for the development of state, come forward for establishing R&D center and business houses, share your views on different tech
topics, and help the scattered young brains for building their career strong. May our little contribution pave the path for a developed state of the Indian union.
i just want it here and get your support and suggestions for the same...
http://www.biharbrains.org/

3. Round the globe bihari's are known for their intelligence & talents in the field of education.And that's the reason why bihari's have been able to conquer IIT's and enormous other top institutions for many years.Enormous students in IIT's IIM's n' other top institutes come from bihar which proves their capabilities and talents.If YOU feel you are one of them then join the "deadly combo".Bihari is one who's proud of his culture and believes in being bihari.... willing to take risks,who can snatch success from last smidgen of opportunity left... ready to conquer the unconquerable...

4. OK..THIS COMMUNITY FOR ALL THOSE DELLIGENT BIHARI ENGINEERS...THOSE WANT TO SHOW THE STRENGTH OF BIHAR...WE HAVE TO PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT INDIA'S FOUNDATION IS BASED ON BIHARI INTELLIGENCE.

B- BRILLIANT
I- INTELLIGENT
H- HARDWORKING
A- ADROIT
R- REPRESENTATIVE OF
I-INDIA.

5. B- BRILLIANT......
I- INTELLIGENT....
H- HONEST.........
A- ALL-ROUNDER....
R- RESPONSIBLE INDIAN...

Note: Community descriptions of 2, 3 and 4 have been reproduced in their entiriety because of their trippy-ness quotient.

What is the result of such brilliant defences? Entertainment? You bet! Does anyone find the descriptions unintentionally funny (ala Rang De Basanti, the Bollywood flick that took itself too seriously and ended up being panned by people capable of thought due to its retarded premise)? You got two options, Yes and Of course! The descriptions do nothing but debase the percieved intelligence levels of the average bihari in the eyes of the other 'normal' Indians. The average bihari is stuck with the image of being a simpleton, incapable of common-sense thinking. The descriptions just confirm the image that we non-biharis have of biharis, and the amount of conviction in the descriptions is enough to make anyone go "Hey.... See? Now THATs what I'm talkin' about!". Food for thought for the biharis? Hmm..... People who would not have sniggered at the mention of biharis now do precisely that. People who would normally not have found biharis unintentionally funny now have something to trip upon, at the cost of the poor bihari.

Case in point: Yours truly :D

PS: Would it not have been precious, if the link www.biharbrains.org, provided in community description number 2, turned out to be a dead link? :D

The Lark Program for Afghan Captives

2006-07-30T02:21:00.000-12:00

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C., 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka - over time. Just remind them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" - wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!

Cordially...Your Buddy,

Don Rumsfeld

The City Of Nightmares?

2006-07-17T08:08:00.000-12:00

Its been a few days since blasts in local trains ripped apart the bodies and lives of umpteen innocent people in Mumbai. Unforgettable images of charred bodies strewn along the tracks, and the belongings of the dead scattered among blackened body parts frozen in a macabre dance of death orchestrated by terrorists have been burned into our minds, not just because of the intensity of the intent of the terrorists to strike terror in the hearts of the Indians, but also because of the way the city apparently brushed off the deaths of the 200-odd victims as just another nightmare and was back on its feet a few hours after the blasts. This so-called spirit of Mumbai has been written about a million times, and the resilience of the Mumbaikars to come back on the streets as though nothing happened has been raved about by Mumbaikars and Mumbaikars-at-heart, who go on extolling this action of Mumbai as a virtue. “Salaam Mumbai!!!” they chorus.

BUT….. the 200 people killed so ruthlessly are not part of a nightmare. They were living breathing entities, each with families to run, friends to catch up with and parents to take care of. What does Mumbai do to remember them? It sweeps them under the carpet with a vengeance. The stock market jumps up a few hundred points, the businessman strikes his next deal with the client, the dabbawaala loads the next set of lunch boxes into the same train that was a flaming tinderbox a few hours ago. The 200 dead are consigned to the moldy tomes of history, their names recorded as just a few more anonymous entities sacrificed as expendable replaceable nobodies by the denizens of the rudest city in the world.

You hear countless instances of Mumbaikars helping people in need during times of crisis such as this. “People came running to save people still stuck in the burning trains (if they were alive), or pull the bodies out”. “People came out to donate blood”. “People rushed the injured to hospitals”. Sure this shows the spirit of humanity. NOT the spirit of the Mumbaikar. Do the people who wax eloquent about the common-man-turned-superman care to check if this phenomenon is unique to Mumbai alone? Did the Americans let the injured die in the aftermath of September 11? Did the British refuse to help their 7/7 blast victims? Did the Akshardham victims die due to neglect and denial of timely medical help? Then what exactly is it that makes the Mumbaikars response different from that of the other human beings?

Now the 11th July blasts are not the first to strike Mumbai, and they certainly won’t be the last. There have been many more instances where precious lives have been lost to terrorism in Mumbai. Now what does the Mumbaikar do? He shouts Salaam Mumbai from the rooftop of his apartment and forgets about the blasts, ostensibly as part of the healing process. Oh wait. He might check if any of his family members are dead or dismembered if he has the time. If they are all safe, our man beats his chest about the resilience of Mumbai and claims nothing has affected Mumbai. Stories abound as to how people of different religions helped each other during the hours after the blast, and how it is a slap on the face of terrorists trying to divide Mumbaikars (note –Mumbaikars, not Indians) along religious lines. Political correctness at times like THIS? Damn!

What does the central government have to do to claim its not sleeping? Make a statement that has the following components – “Cross border terrorism will not be tolerated”, “It takes more than a few bomb blasts to crush the city that never sleeps”, “We should all be united in this hour of tragedy, as dividing us on the basis of religion is what the terrorists want”. Plus a smattering of words praising the city and there you go, the average Mumbaikar is satiated. There is no pressure on the government to ensure such incidents don’t repeat. Sure, for a few days, cameras will be installed in public spots. Frisking will be carried out with renewed vigor. After a week, everything is back to normal. Everybody forgets about the blasts till the next tragedy strikes. As put by Josef Stalin, “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic” The attitude of the Mumbaikar lets the government literally get away with murder.

Yes. Mumbai has been ranked by Readers Digest as the rudest city in the world. Nobody has time for anyone else. Staying in tiny apartments, spending half your waking hours traveling armpit-to-armpit style (akin to the bumper-to-bumper style of car travel in Bangalore roads, only a lot more smelly) in overcrowded local trains is sure to rob anybody of all concepts of personal space. Anyone denied it is likely to be irritable and grouchy. Add to this the fact that the person has to keep running to stand still in the feverishly fast paced city till he retires and you begin to understand why nobody opens doors for others or thanks their customers. Nobody has the time, nobody has the inclination. If they ever stop to think –“Is all this worth it?” they might gain a few insights. But they don’t stop, much less to think, and consequently the hamster keeps running in its wheel till it drops dead due to exhaustion.

Sure I was amazed by the fact that the city got back on its feet a few hours after the ‘93 blasts. But the same story playing out over and over again over the last 13 years makes it impossible to ignore the possibility that the first casualty of living in Mumbai is the human quality of mourning. Nobody is willing to accept that the 200 precious lives lost are leaving behind people scarred for life. The focus, instead, is on exhibiting the “spirit” of the city, and how a member of one religion helped a member of another religion get to a hospital on time. The focus is not on healing the wounds, but on celebrating the fact that the city is too busy to notice the ghastly deaths. You call this human? Not many others will! The city of dreams does not beckon others like it used to, anymore.

Call the Salaam Bombay spirit as selfishness, and you will have a million Mumbaikars breathing down your neck, claiming Bombay’s verve and boundless enthusiasm is reflected by it. Call Bombay rude and you have people citing instances where some old woman living alone provided accommodation to total strangers and screaming –“You call THIS rude?” Well, it might just be the defence mechanism of the Mumbaikar, who is not ready to accept the fact that there just MIGHT exist places better than his hometown, at work. You never know. Anyways, the net result is that you have the proud acolytes defending the actions of well-oiled machinery that has way too many spares to replace the ones that fail. STOP. BREATHE. Now go buy yourselves some hearts, for god’s sake!

Ending this post with Rafis immortal song:

Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahan

Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Bombay meri jaan

Get out, fool!

2006-05-13T08:00:00.000-12:00

There seems to be this new phenomenon sweeping the internet of late- Underage idiots with loads of free time and broadband connectivity.

I've seen quite a few of these kids who think they are

1. very "mature" as they listen to music the others (20-22 year olds) listen to... [usually Floyd and Doors]
2. intelligent as they can come up with random cuss words at the drop of a hat, and
3. axiomatically great [No proof required - They are great just because they claim to be "The great one", with an 'attitude' named after them (Ha ha ha ha ha WTF ROFL)].

This reminds me of Cartman in SP 501 (Scott Tenorman must die), who believes hes outgrown his friends as hes got pubes (Bought from seniors, not selfgrown) and thus merits 'adult' company.

You don't stick on pubes obtained from others, you retard! You are supposed to grow your own. Till then, you are supposed to stay off areas meant for adults. The internet, for one, ain't meant for jobless kids to while away time on. Go away and come back when you sprout pubes. The virtual world is off bounds!

Unfortunately kiddo, THIS is what you really are:

Offended? Thats the intention.

Two cases uppermost in my mind as of now:

Case 1: Joins orkut at an age when hes supposed to be studying for board examinations. Goes around foulmouthing anybody and everybody. Calls others "kids" (Oh the insecurity!) and comes up with retorts that could be compiled into a volume highlighting the idiocy of mankind. Sits at home all day (AND night, sometimes) long, scrapping anyone who logs into orkut the following line - Hey man. Whats up, da? What the fuck will be up once every five hours? Scraps half of orkut, half the time trying to stress his perceived notion that he is not as retarded as he seems, and the rest trying to give the impression of a very intelligent and wise man in the body of a kid. Ah! Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Nope.

Case 2: Joins a yahoogroup formed by IITians who are discussing various ways of opposing the bastard Arjun Singhs move to reserve half the seats in the elite institutes of education for the undeserving subhumans. Sends a groupmail introducing herself in a very very frivolous manner (With *TRUMPETS BLOWING* and *enters waving to crowd amidst cheering fans* as two attention grabbing lines) assuming the group is for people to have "fun", that ticks many members off and amuses the rest. Of course she gets flamed. The ensuing retort, needless to say, was as effective as bandaids to fight cancer. Leaves the group when she realizes shes as out of place as a moron in a mensa meet. Then writes a laughable blog about how High IQ Guys (Most of whom are jerks, who do not know how to treat an idiot with respect) need to be shown their place. Haaa haaa haaa haa.... sorry, ma'am. You got owned! Happens sometimes in the internet. You'll learn sometime later that not everyone wants to interact with silly megalomaniac kids. *This is your cue to switch off your computer, and go sulk in the corner*

Kids, you are not supposed to be here. You need more maturity to survive in the big bad virtual world. Go out and play, lest you suffer from muscular atrophy at 15! Watch some TV - Get to know the latest developments in the world around you. Oh heck! Watch cartoons! Heard of Tom and Jerry? No? Laurel and Hardy? No? Charlie Chaplin? No???? Read some books. Go study for your school tests. OR ELSE......

Yeah, sadly it happens to people like you with amazing regularity, FYI. Human rights don't apply here.

Wonder if Logitech or Microsoft could come up with keyboards that impart electric shocks to minors when they try to use 'em ....... that would benefit both the kids and the users of the world wide web immensely.

PS: As always, each phenomenon has its list of exceptions. For example, there is a lil girl whose blog shows shes wiser than people twice, nay thrice, her age. Maybe we could have a restriction on the mental age of people on the internet. But then, that would rob the net of all its fun, wonit?

Busy?

2006-04-23T06:59:00.000-12:00

There have been many instances where I've pitied the 'average' human being. Hes so busy doing what he thinks is important that he forgets that he is on this planet to LIVE! He prefers working hard, rather than working smart.

From the time we're born until we die, we're kept busy with artificial stuff that isn't important. -Tom Ford

Take, for instance, the poor VTU student who finds it hard to take time out from a very busy schedule. Sorry, but FYI, I KNOW how much effort needs to be put into engineering education.

1. Too many classes - WTF are you talking about? You can get attendance paying something like 200 bucks a subject. Thats like three mango smoothies with icecream in your barista cafe on campus.

2. Internals and Exams - Sure. Reading from specified paragraphs in your text books can be very very tiring! One query beyond whats given in your syllabus and your expertise on the subject shines through :D

3. Project work - I've seen the kind of stuff you people pass off as projects. Buy full reports on Avenue Road for 100 bucks and submit it as your thesis. Does this need so much time that you find it too difficult to even come online? We know how much time and effort an engineering BTech project takes. Heck! We study in universities you can only dream of competing in! We face competition you've not seen ever since you won your first race against three billion fellow sperms to enter this world in your current sorry form. Still do you find us cribbing about how 'busy' our project keeps us? Do you find us claiming we have no time to come online and keep in touch with people we care about? NO!

This is one major area where the 'average' IITian differs from every other graduate. Ask any IITian if he has time for a few frags in Quake, or time to play a few Floyd tracks, or watch a movie, or get into a discussion on philosophy and current affairs. He will make time for you, no matter how busy he is. He works smart, not hard, unlike the retarded people who are awarded engineering degrees outside. Consequently, we have people of ALL shades here, and their branch of engineering becomes just a minor aspect in their life. Other than being an engineer of a particular specialization, our IITian has an interest in Classic rock, has watched all the IMDB top rated 250 movies during college life, is up to date on the latest happenings in anything from national politics to the Nepal crisis, has already watched the latest Naruto aired in the japan ten hours ago and is currently deep into Ayn Rands philosophy of the survival of the best.Contrast that with the VTU grad. Anytime of the year, there no time to watch a movie, or read a book, or read newspapers. But then, theres always time to find a girlfriend/boyfriend of similar mental capacity, or 'party'. Ah maybe that does not require that much time. Why do they fail to realize that all they do after wasting so much time trying to understand something, they have no option but to join the same coolie coding jobs in IT companies that are all equal to each other? Is it a sheer lack of mental ability to realise they would be much better off spending time learning about things other than acads? Is it sheer mindnumbing stupidity that prevents them from developing into informed induviduals, rather than replaceable matchsticks with as much depth of knowledge as a sheet of butter paper?

Little wonder, then, as to why people don't mind spending an extra year studying for JEE to enter the portals of the IITs. Little surprise, then, when peoples eyes light up when you mention your undergrad college. Little surprise, then, why IITians have such a huge clout, so much visibility, and so much more than the 'typical' mediocre replaceable engineering graduate. No wonder you jealous people seek to finish the tag by letting people of your mental standards enter by ushering in CET-like JEE exams, reservation for the undeserving and fucking our grades up (after joining as profs in IIT) so we can't app! Fuck you people. Who wants to be a fucking engineer when you can be the best of the best?

Saarang is a million times better than your stupid college fests. Two fests of a 'reputed' engg. college in Bangalore just showed me how low your fucking standards are! Unlike the fests outside, ours don't have a bunch of losers playing solos at the same time on stage as the main event of our celebrations. Feel happy about doing nothing at all, and claim you just saved humanity! Our hostel nite videos make more sense and more professional than the shit you turn out after spending loads of your fathers money on and boast about for years! We work on a totally different plane. But whats the point? How can you grasp what you are missing out on? How can one explain the colours of the rainbow to the congenitally blind? You won't understand what I'm talking about.

One reason why we IITians are regarded as arrogant - We can't connect with the mediocre outside campus. Any conversation with them has to involve the latest F1 race (Oh FYI, thats the latest thing 'cool' people do), the latest hindi movie release (especially if it has the groovy item number with the catchy tune), the 'platform' they work on in their office (Fuck, almost sounds like they are begging for a living in the railway station!) or the latest model of camera phone or iPod (Oh thats to show how 'tech-savvy' they are). Still wondering why IITians tend to mix mainly with the other IITians wherever they go? The stamp of an IIT is enough to tell us you have, like ourselves, proven yourself. Thats enough to realize you are company we can connect to. THATs how we survive. But, anyways, this is sure to be lost on you. Get back to shagging over your latest mp3 camera phone/video iPod/ cute teammate, and I'll get back to analyzing predictable sheep like you.

“I find it pretty tiresome personally, and I feel sorry that my friends should think they're being very busy when they're really doing absolutely nothing. Of course, I know your idea of me: you think I'm just a poor unfortunate, and I shouldn't wonder if your right. But then I don't THINK that you're unfortunate - I know you are.” - Plato

Just a pertinent observation: People who think they are busy all the time are the ones who get the least work done. The real people who actually do work always manage time to do what is requested of them. The ones who work hard are the ones who need weeks to do what others take months to ponder about. Ask the really busy people for a favour, and they will take time out to help you out. Ask the pretender, and the standard reply you will get is: Oh man I'm too busy. What with @$#$#@%$#^% and !@%^%$#% coming up. Don't get time to do anything at all! :(

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable. -Kin Hubbard

Orkut has been a very useful tool to understand the thought process of the general populace. Given below is a scrapbook conversation that I found truly enlightening. Enjoy.

Background: Mr K and Mr R are both graduates of a mediocre college of engineering in India. Mr K is now a coder doing the backoffice operations his white masters find emotionally empty and physically draining. Mr R decided he does not want to code yet. He wants to spend 60 lacs of his rich dads money, get a foreign degree and then come back and code right here in India (Oh THAT is fulfilling)

Average IT coolie (Mr K): Hey man! How are you spending time?
Average Busy person (Mr R): Ah I'm very busy these days man. I have to give my GRE. So I'm studying for it.
Mr K: Oh cool man! Went to classes for GRE?
Mr R: Yeah man. After that I had given the GRE once. Ended up with 1100. ( My thoughts at this point in time: Though I plan to fund myself for MS and go to an unranked univ in the christian belt, this score seems a tad too low, donit?)
Mr K: How many days have you been preparing?
Mr R: Been preparing ever since I passed out from college man :(
Mr K: Okay man, we are going to enjoy in Wonder-La. You get back to your studies.
Mr R: Gawd! Look at the time! I've wasted 10 more minutes :( Bye

Too bad its people like Mr R who end up with the dumb loose chicks in undergrad school, while others who put 1480 with less than three days of 'studying' are left wondering if they lack something Mr R has.

It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? - Henry David Thoreau

Heres something you can ruminate upon during your spare time (The 5 minutes of free time you get when you are not studying or doing your project work)

Your problem is you're... too busy holding onto your unworthiness. -Ram Dass

But hold on! If you are busy, you might not even get the time to come across this blog. Too bad you will neither realize that the ocean of wisdom is staring you in the face, nor will you miss what you never thought you can have in the first place ......... (O_O)

Disclaimer: This blog is about the 'average' engineer that I've encountered. YOU are the stud whos the exception to the rule!

South Indian Superstars

2006-04-18T16:28:00.000-12:00

Balayya

Captain

TR

Rebirth

2006-03-16T18:43:00.000-12:00

Something inside me just died.

I no longer feel the need to get ahead in life. I no longer feel the need to do an MBA. I no longer believe in the intelligence of the fairer sex. I no longer feel like giving them more respect than they deserve. And to think I actually thought I was going to turn out just fine!

I realized that being smart is overrated. All my life, I was conditioned into believing that the smartest guys get ahead in life. Now, I realized, albeit a little too late, that you dont need to be a selfmade man to feel satisfied. You don't need a brain to succeed as long as you have a rich dad. You don't need intelligence to get laid. You don't need a plan for the future to feel secure. All you have to be is COMFORTABLY DUMB.

See threads running common through all the cases of idiots getting laid? Ill give you loads: If you are a guy whos got a hot chick, you will satisfy most of the conditions that follow:

1. You will be a sure failure in 5 years. So you have to have a rich dad as your ATM. Or you can hook up with a techie (Which is very easy, as there are more Engineering seats than Candidates in many states of our coolie country) who is hollow up there to love someone like you AND be rich enough to feed you when you have no money (which would be, ALL the fucking time). Win-Win situation, with both wins pointed right at you, right? Who would say no to that?

2. You would have secured a brilliant five figure rank in the competitive examination to get into engineering education. You would have used your fathers money and/or influence to get into the fifth or sixth best engineering college of the state. The college must not be too good, else the girls who come there will be ugly. The higher the college in ranking, the uglier the girls entering there. So to be close to the hot chicks, you need to enter the fifth or sixth best college in the city. Plenty of rich dads kids take up management/payment seats there. They will be dumb, and they will be rich! Wow! Ideal combo, ainit?

3. The girl is way above your league. She could have had anyone she wanted. But she falls for you because you rebel against convention. She loves you because you have the foolishness to go the route less travelled, as she mistakes it for conviction. Poor young thing does not know that the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. In a way, she is also rebelling against a society that bent over backwards because she was hot, and she found that all that adulation boring. So she feels the need to be treated like shit by a fool way below her league.

4. You NEED to have flaws. A society that thrives in mediocrity does not believe in ideals like the ideal male, the ideal way of life et al. You need to have boozed, fagged and doped at least. The more flaws you have, the better. For this, you need to waste your fathers money. So you need to kill your conscience first. In the words of Oscar Wilde, Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them they will forgive us everything, even our intellects.

5. You need to be really stupid. If you had a semblance of a brain inside you, you would not tread these 'offbeat' paths as you can see the obvious pitfalls ahead of you. You need to lack the brains to realize that driving a bike blindfolded at a 100 miles an hour on a collision course with a humongous brick wall right in front of you will kill you. You need to NOT realize that you are being stupid, not brave. You need to 'think' with your heart, not your mind. Or better still, NOT think at all!!!!!!!! Such unadulterated stupidity seems to be a major turn-on!

6. You should not have the mental caliber to do well in competitive examinations. That way, you do not get to enter the hallowed portals of esteemed educational institutes. This makes you stay within touchy-feely distance of the beautiful but sadly brainless girls who would fall for you not because you have anything better than anyone else, but because you are within arms reach. Now, if you manage to land up in IITs or IIMs or MIT/Stan/Berk, you might as well kiss all hopes of landing a chick goodbye. The entrance parameters are so far above their reach only the really desperate (In other words, really Ugly) ones manage to satisfy them. By the time you get out of the institute, anyone whos looking for boyfriends has already found her 'special one'. You are so screwed! Go figure!

Why should I waste two more years of my life when all I have to do is waste my dads money, not have a job and be a royal fuck up? Ain't this the easy way out? Sure.... In five years, I will be well and truly braindead, but I will be boinking hot chicks. Fair tradeoff? I get to choose between used, rejected or both! Thats the beauty of it all!

Ah, maybe thats it! The more you dope, the more irresistible hawt girls find you. The more you fuck your life up, the hotter you get. The dumber you are, the more you connect with 'em dumb people on an intellectual plane. The more unconventional you are, the higher your value. The girls that fall for you will be the type that buy electronic gadgets made in Somalia or Erteria because they have the foreign tag attached to them.

Disclaimers

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

If you happen to be a girl smitten by some worthless piece of turd, be happy. I'm claiming that you deserved someone better. If you still don't agree with my viewpoint, move your mouse cursor to the top right corner of the screen and click the button there. X marks the spot. If you still feel the need to argue with me, please post a comment. I'm trying to break a record for the fastest rejection of comments on the blogosphere.

Thoughts for the day

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. -HL Mencken

Men know life too early, women know life too late. -Oscar Wilde

Genius outlasts beauty. -Oscar Wilde

Meet the new ME. Hi! There is no Maryaada Purushottam Ram inside me anymore. HE has left the building. Fair enough. We are in Kaliyuga, not Threta, right? A Ram here and now would be an oddity, an eyesore. Personal note : Start boozing, doping, fagging, wasting your dads money and then enjoy female company.

PS: Edited the post as I got five messages in three days from distinct people who identified with many characteristics of the earlier mentioned types! WTF? Is society so screwed? SHIT! What was I thinking? *Bangs head on keyboard*

Random Funny Clip

2006-03-11T15:46:00.000-12:00

Out Of The Loop

2006-03-06T18:40:00.001-12:00

Sample DC conversation

I'm not involved in this, but I sure wish I was :)

hellboy: same here
hellboy: not fagged either today
hellboy: losing stamina
MaximumSatan: lets go burn some witch
MaximumSatan: why bcos of fags eh?
hellboy: gawd noes
hellboy: tired of double bassin
hellboy: in 2 mins only
MaximumSatan: hmm
hellboy: bfore easily 20 mins no trouble
hellboy: i think i l have 1 a week now
hellboy: haha
MaximumSatan: haha
hellboy: some guy has shared 170 gb wtf
new-movie: tats kool
MaximumSatan: give up
hellboy: hehe two totally contrary views
hellboy: so typical
MaximumSatan: whose he ill kick him
hellboy: haha
MaximumSatan: i hate bastrds who get only bangbus and crap like tht
new-movie:
hellboy: its the shittiest
hellboy: we shud go to mardi gras man
MaximumSatan: yeah man
hellboy: this place sucks
MaximumSatan: im going to nevada for sure
hellboy: shud pack evrything and go to new orleans
MaximumSatan: hehe
MaximumSatan: shit not nevada its nebraska
hellboy: ya exactly
hellboy: nebrasks coeds .com u ve seen the site
MaximumSatan: nevada is somefucking desert with all military insatlltions
MaximumSatan: yeah
hellboy: hehe
hellboy: but nevertheless las vegas right??
MaximumSatan: hehe
MaximumSatan: lasvegas?
hellboy: is in nevada i thot
MaximumSatan: nope in carlifonia i think
hellboy: thn y do they always say las vegas nevada??
MaximumSatan: is it i didnt notice it
MaximumSatan: could be vegas is a desert city
hellboy: hehe its sure not deserted without chicks!!
MaximumSatan: yeah lots of money needed man or u have to be 2 kewql like jhonny depp in fear and loathing to gate crash everything
hellboy: fuckin money
MaximumSatan: yeah fuckin money
hellboy: if only i had money
MaximumSatan: yeah if only man to every thing right now imagine all the fucker outside thinking if only i cleared jee ..total dumfucks wht do those cunts know wht we are facing here
MaximumSatan: fucking eye sores lurking in every nook and corner
TianxianBaobao:
Achtung: and ya kno wat we r goin 2 get at d end of d day?
Achtung: fucked up bitches who had already been licked by some hunk in hi-school, if not cracked open already
Achtung: socially legitimate prosties who spread their legs to power and fame
hellboy: hehe fuck man this achtung guy has a point
hellboy: we shud bloody kill ourselves for clearin jee
Achtung: don't bother about emotions. they don't mean a thing.
Achtung: at d end of the day, it all boils down to flesh, skin, money and power.
hellboy: thts the thing we have none now Achtung: u will have. be patient.
hellboy: hmmm
Achtung: 'cause if u don't, u won't exisit for too long a time.
hellboy: hehe
m2: does anyone have a vid of monica belluci getting screwd in IRREVERSIBLE?
hellboy: dude junta have movie only
l33t-m4st3r: all we do is watch porn....junta our age busy losin their virginity....sad
m2: I just want that small clip
hellboy: u can get hj split and get ur clip
m2: oh!
m2: thanks
hellboy: to non males da dont worry
l33t-m4st3r: something is better than nothing....at least i hope it is
BigBet: Junta.. Mai Otome 21 shared
hellboy: bull shit rather watch some chick getting fucked thn lose ur virginity to velacheri whore
hellboy: something is nt everything dude
hellboy: y get somethin when u can get everything
Achtung: every single woman in this world is a whore. Only the rate differs.
BigBet: whoa... what is this hifunda debate?
l33t-m4st3r: hmm....by something is better i was talkin abt junta in other instis
BigBet: oh?
hellboy: well we need the god rated ones for sure
l33t-m4st3r: there's no one in the vicinity of IIT i wanna screw
l33t-m4st3r: that'd be my Darkest hour
hellboy: hehe ob other insti guys are cashin
hellboy: thts the sad part of our lives
Achtung: u win somethin', u lose somethin.
hellboy: we l get these already cracked open whores as u put it
Achtung: we hv already made our choice.
hellboy: ya live with it
l33t-m4st3r: were we ready for the consequences when we made it?
hellboy: no not me
l33t-m4st3r: did we know the consequences?
l33t-m4st3r: i guess not
hellboy: sad but true!!
Achtung: no we ddn't.
BigBet: wow...
Achtung: but we don't do most of the times.
BigBet: u guys are speaking as if u are galley slaves
l33t-m4st3r: i need Painkillers
The_Underground: "It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual instinct that could give that stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race the name of the fair sex; for the entire beauty of the sex is based on this instinct." Amigo: hi bgguys Achtung: we are all slaves to our instincts.
Amigo: wat happened 2 lochinvar,the most joblessb guy
The_Underground: damn!
Achtung: we can stab it as much as we want, but we can never kill the beast.
BigBet: points for song reference
Achtung: Hail Eagle.
l33t-m4st3r: hehe.....thts the theme
Achtung: or rather, the Eagles.
BigBet: aye
l33t-m4st3r: song reference tht is
l33t-m4st3r: somebody put up an article in Wiki abt IITM's skewed sex ratio
Achtung: or better...Get Frustrated, Dope till you bleed from the nose, Blame God and go to sleep.
hellboy: there s no god dude
The_Underground: what if you die in your own puke?
l33t-m4st3r: i think i'll stop at stage 1
Achtung: u'll die anyways oneday.
hellboy: thn ul get famous for dyin like hendrix
l33t-m4st3r: yeah....but choking on our own puke at age 20 is rather fucked up
hellboy: all chicks will shag lookin at ur pic
l33t-m4st3r: especially if ur a virgin
The_Underground: hmmm... what if you PRETEND that you died
hellboy: thts all ul get
The_Underground: then the chicks should come - for the pseud value!
Achtung: man life is so fucked up right now ANYTHING's better than this...even death.
hellboy: ya lets all commit mass suicide
hellboy: il pass tho
Achtung: ya and blow my dead dick...sick man.
The_Underground: i'm in
Achtung: who d fuck wanna die for a whore?
hellboy: haha finally ul lose ur virginity
hellboy: seems like underground does
hellboy: i said il pass
hellboy: not worth dyin for some shit like this
Achtung: my soul is dead already...i think my body's gonna follow suit soon.
l33t-m4st3r: ur Beyond the realms of death
The_Underground: we are chatting about this on DC. will death be a lesser state than this?
The_Underground: i think not
hellboy: wats wrong with ul just watch the porn i ve shared it l help some old man fuckin hot chicks
l33t-m4st3r: Reverse Psychology?
Achtung: all ya motherfuckin' hi-CG-waley RG-Gods....FUCK YOU, man...
hellboy: ya seriously
Achtung: FUCK YOU, all ye motherfuckin' sadist profs...
The_Underground: totally muggue mofos
l33t-m4st3r: i
hellboy: fuckers will know tht their life sucks once they get out
hellboy: they l just end up dyin without doin anything
l33t-m4st3r: i'm only in second yr.....don't really care tht much abt tht stuff...
Achtung: and FUCK YOU madarchods who inspired me to come to this place...FUCK YOU the most
l33t-m4st3r: i agree with u there buddy
hellboy: all those fuckrs who said iit is THE place bastards
The_Underground: it was like the biggest CON ever pulled - being smart is over rated man!
Achtung: rest of ya...good nite junta, sweet dreams...
l33t-m4st3r: i swear if anybody asks me abt IIT i'll tell him it's worse than being castrated
Achtung: God Bless all of Us.
l33t-m4st3r: g nite
hellboy: theres no god dude!!!
l33t-m4st3r: try not to choke on ur vomit;)
Achtung: Whoa...I'm so drunk I can't even get up from my chair and go to the bed...
l33t-m4st3r: sleep on the chair
The_Underground: drunk is nice - now all you have to do is hurl abuses at random... all the whores in bandanas will flock
Achtung: fuck man...seems i hv 2 sleep on d floor only...gnittte
Achtung: gimme a guitar and i'll make them masturbate in publi too
Achtung: fuck man...my legs r totally not respondin'..
Achtung: i'll hv 2 sleep on d floor today.....
Achtung: FUCK ALL U BITCHES IN D WORLD!!
hellboy: theres no god !!!
Achtung: gnite fellows....sweet drea,s..

A Moment of Truth

2006-02-08T03:52:00.000-12:00

An interesting article which echoes my views on the recent attacks by totalitarian extremist muslims on free press, which I copied from here

A new non-political international movement is rising.

4000 terror attacks after 9/11, the world was still slumbering. But 12 innocent satirical drawings in a Danish newspaper, the kind of cartoons printed daily by the thousands in newspapers all over the world, have changed the geopolitical situation.

Suddenly, a new understanding is emerging across political differences.

In recent years, the world crisis between Islam and the non-Muslim world has been discussed in thousands of books, countless television debates and millions of articles across the globe. It did nothing but divide us. Even former western allies were divided, and a wave of anti-Americanism has swept even the free western societies.

Now ridiculous circumstances have changed all that. A sense of humour has changed what all the debating could not.

For 1400 years, Islam has waged war on all surrounding non-Muslim civilizations. During the course of history, Christianity was reformed, Europe colonized the world and set it free again, dictators lived, reigned and died, and totalitarian regimes emerged and vanished.

But Islam stayed, unreformed. And today, it imprisons more than 1 billion people, moderate and radical souls alike, in a huge gap of difference to the rest of us. Across political divides, across national boundaries, across various degrees of freedom, across race, people or religion, black or white, rich or poor; it stands out as our opposite. Only Muslim reformists seek to lessen the gap. And their voices are quickly silenced.

In modern times, waves of immigrants from Muslim countries have entered Europe. All European countries have been subject to islamization; the process of slowly incorporating Islamic values and Muslim customs into our way of life. Far East countries like India, Thailand, Indonesia and China are experiencing the Muslim Jihad. Israel lives with it. America feels it. Africa suffers from it, and is too weak from disease and poverty to resist.

It is suddenly coming to our attention that Islam is not, cannot, and will not be integrated or assimilated to the values of freedom and democracy. Islam is not only a religion; it is a totalitarian and expansionistic political ideology.

It is now a moment of truth. The current events unfolding all over the world are opening our eyes. 12 cartoons have touched the soul of the free societies: The right to speak freely without fear.

The drawings did not cause this. But they catalyzed a world conflict dormant since the birth of Muhammed.

Now we know what his face looks like. And we are still in majority on this earth to stand up to it.

The current events will eventually lead to either a 3rd world war or finally some sort of Islamic self-realization that has been 1400 years in the making.

Rang De Basanti

2006-02-08T03:41:00.000-12:00

Well, I caught the movie yesternight, @ the late night show here in Chennai. Here are my views on the movie:

minus 5. The movie assumes it will move the youth of India into action. If someone suddenly becomes patriotic after watching the movie, he is very likely to lose all his patriotic feelings when he sees the next britney spears/christina aguilera video.

minus 4. Nobody seems to have anything to do, no classes to attend, no assignments to complete. This is contrary to my experiences in life, where all I see are loads of assignments, back-to-back quizzes, nightouts mugging my butt off. I dont see this changing in my near future. I seem to have missed out on soooo much socialising and loafing.

minus 3. This is another movie celebrating mediocrity. Aamir Khan and his friends in the movie supposedly finished education five years ago, but all they do is 'hang out' in the college. Daljeets mother is proud that her son is a loafer. Nobody seems to be heading anywhere in life, and their acts of foolishness make celebrities out of nobodys.

minus 2. This movie had the 'patriotic muslim youth' attachment as has always been in the case. Usually, in all the cop dramas, there is this patriotic muslim cop who is used to offset the negative image generated by the pakistani terrorist, who happens to be muslim. The 'patriotic muslim guy' is Bollywoods answer to Hollywoods "Token Black Guy", whos just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack." (Not another teen movie, anyone?)

minus 1. The only person I could relate to was Lakshman, the guy who played Ramprasad Bismil. He is the only guy who knows what he is doing, and is not a fuck-up in life. And he is the only guy who knows a bit about the India of the past. Made me realise ive been out of touch with my outside peers of my age group. Bah!

zero. Aamir Khan was the only recognisable face (other than Soha Ali Khan, who looks a lot like her mother and brother, but is not as beautiful as Sharmila Tagore)

plus 1. Catchy music. Im currently playing the catchy tunes in my winamp right now. Be a rebel is pretty good by any standards. A R Rehmans as good as ever.

plus 2. The puNjabee way of speakings pretty nice. Made a nice refreshing change. I liked it.

plus 3. Aamir Khans acting. Shades of Akash from DCH (my fav movie) are all too evident. Im a sucker for Aamir movies, right from Andaz Apna Apna to Sarfarosh to Lagaan to DCH.

plus 4. The style of storytelling, with the camera zooming from the historical hero to the protagonist playing the role was quite new, and gets the audience in the thick of action. This I liked.

plus 5. The movies definately worth a watch on the big screen. I spent 100 bucks on the ticket and consider it well spent, thanks to aamirs acting and the music.

Good Blonde Joke

2006-01-30T07:20:00.000-12:00

Well, this has got to be the funniest blonde joke ever!

Long time no see...

2006-01-26T00:42:00.000-12:00

Well, not blogged off late. Promise I'll be a lil more regular from now on :D

Heres an update of my recent past.

1. Got through CAT. Managed all six calls, with a percentile of 99.94 (That places me in the top 100 out of 1.55 lakh candidates). Hope to convert one of the big three calls, preferably the B call.

2. Got a job in an Analytics firm, an analytics firm with the head office of 40 ppl in India. Companys Global Analytics, and the posting would be in chennai. But hey, the pays good @ 5 lacs per annum.

3. Din't mug much for GRE n TOEFL, wrote it anyways. Ended up with 1480/1600 n 5/6 in GRE and 280/300 in TOEFL. Thats pretty decent too, considering the fact that people in Bangalore go to classes for these exams and end up with 1210/1600. Thanks to Condom, for his enthu in getting me to read a bit for them, as I had spent money in registering for them. He he.... Ditched app plans when I was doing pretty well in the mock CATs at career launcher. Ah! No regrets now :)

4. Burning a heckuvalot of DVDs in collaboration with Sriharsha. Mainly movies and Floyd stuff. Aim to get as many of the IMDB top 250 movies as I can before I pass out of the insti this May. Burnt around 70 DVDs till now, planning to burn atleast 50 more.

Option 2 is a backup to Option 1.

Thats about it now. More later. Chao.

Haraam!

2005-10-20T18:30:00.000-12:00

Check out this article written by some gay tree hugging gandhi loving hippie, one of the types of subhumans I have come to detest!

If Gandhi were alive today? Hmmm... thats an interesting proposition. Lets examine it now, shall we?

If Gandhi were alive today, he would be ashamed of politics going on here. He would be ashamed that his name is being used to fool the gullible populace of India (that encompasses almost the whole population) into voting for a corrupt party filled with hypocrites and sycophants! He would be ashamed that the majority is being made to conform to the wills and fancies of the minorites. He would feel guilty of leading a nation with a rich past to such a dismal present. He would wish he was never born, in the first place.

Its not as if he was like god, anyway. His philosophy of showing the other cheek was instrumental in making India the biggest wussie nation in the history of mankind. How else would anyone explain the fact that a puny nation of terrorists, one-seventh our size, can terrorize us for half a century with such audacity? Another nation sends in infiltrators on a regular basis and has altered the demographic composition of the border regions, while the government steadfastedly looks the other way!!!! Look at this puny nation called Israel, and check out its methods of countering terrorism. One entity of refugees located in hostile territory has achieved so much in the field of science and tech (without the support of the US. Please! Don't bring the US into everything related to Israel) successfully keeping barbarians at bay so effectively!

As a nation progresses, it will utilize its natural resources the best it can. Come on! We are neither part of Gaia nor are we tree hugging hippies to care for every plant that decides to take root. Man is where he is precisely because he can think and utilize the resources at his disposal. If we were to be like that, there will be no foodgrains for our starving millions (and that becomes a fault of humans again, as they are not caring for the have-nots), there will be no power plants and there will certainly be no development as we know it. Indian population has exploded since independence. Newly independent (Undeveloped) India had around 357 million people, and most were engaged in farming, which did not need any power then. The developing India of today has more than a BILLION mouths to feed and industries to keep them employed! Will the tree-huggers provide food and employment for ALL of them???

His method of selfsufficiency is very impractical in the modern world, where the soap one uses is made in the US of A, the cell one uses is made in the scandinavian countries, the car one drives was conceptualised in japan, and the clothes he uses are from China. Can anybody dream of a life without the corporations that take care of your needs? You would have had no cars, no comps, no mobiles, no tv, no music, NOTHING AT ALL! Wow! Stone-age paradise!

I really wonder how many city-dwellers would like to go to the villages, spin khadi, abstain from all pleasurable activity, wear nothing but khadi as he desired? Does anyone assume India can reach the amount of progress it has achieved if it stayed in the villages and abhored English? If yeah, that would be pure naievete.

I don't respect any person who wants anyone to give away his hard earned money to useless people who are incapable of looking after themselves. Robin Hood may sound like a good story, but socialism (and its eviler twin, communism) is the worst plague to hurt humanity's progress into the future.

Gandhi created a nation ashamed of its own existence. Can anybody picturise a country voting in a party that screams from the rooftops that we are useless and not 'shining', when, as a matter-of-fact, we were? Does a nation with such a huge army wait for infiltrators to enter its territory and then try to eliminate them if it was not cowardly by nature? Can a nation filled with various castes ever hope to develop if all of them fight to get the 'backward community' tag, the tag that he created, so that unworthy subhumans can get preference over meritorious deserving people? Where is the pride that is so characteristic of human psyche?

Just so people know, Mohan was not the reason why we got independence. The British got mothered in the WW2. They did not have enough resources to govern themselves. So, they withdrew from all their colonies. Gandhis presence was merely incidental. I wonder how there are so many people foolish enough to really believe the British actually cared for the fasts undertaken by some frail old man! I would have loved it if we got independence when Subhas Chandra Bose or Chandrashekhar Azad was leading the movement. We would have been commies now, but WE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD AS A NATION!!!

Come on! Its been more than 50 years since the so-called father of the nation left this planet and entered the nether regions! Critical analysis is long overdue! Learn to call a spade a spade. There are some issues I feel strongly about. Unnecessary glorification and meaningless hero worship of cowards are two of those!

If Gandhi were alive today, he would wish he were dead!

On a lighter vein: What were Mr. Karamchand's very last words? Hey Ram? Nope! You got it wrong. Its HARAAAM! How would you prove me wrong? By refering to eyewitnesses accounts, who were all Gandhi loyalists and would not like to sully his image? LOL!

Why I need a pneumatic drill

2005-10-07T19:54:00.000-12:00

Conversation between John Smith and Feminist Bitch

JS : Hello. Nice day, ain't it?
FB : I'm pregnant.
JS : Congrats. But I thought you were not married.
FB : No I am not. I don't need a man in my life to make me feel complete.
JS : Okkkkay. Congrats anyways. Now why did I need to know that?
FB : I need five months off.
JS : Sure. You can come back after five months.
FB : I don't like that tone. Do you think I'm begging you for a holiday? I don't need it, you know.
JS : Huh? So do you want a holiday?
FB : No. We are equals and are fighting to be treated that way.
JS : Okay then, as you wish. Consider your application for maternity leave rejected.
FB : You men are all the same. You expect a pregnant woman to work normally? You are inconsiderate and sexist.
JS : What do you want me to do?
FB : You expect women to work as much as men? We are different. Can you not see that? We do not have the stamina you men have. But we are not weaker than you in any aspect.
JS : You claim you are not being promoted because you are female, even though you don't deserve it. In tennis, you play 2 sets (3 in some cases) and expect the same remuneration as men who play 3 sets (5 sets usually).
FB : But we get enthusiastic male audience, don't we? We deserve equal prize money!
JS : Do you seriously believe they watch the match because of the tennis ball? Do you believe the women athletes wear the bare minimum to aid in movement across the court? Do you believe even the number 1 in womens tennis can stand up to the number 100 in mens tennis? How can you stake claim for equal prize money when your game is substandard?
FB : Errrrrrrr...... What I mean is....
JS : Anyway, what you are trying to say is that you are equal, but you are not equal?
FB : Don't twist my words to suit your needs. All I am saying is that women need reservations in all fields so that we can be treated as equals to men.
JS : Huh?
FB : You men are all the same. You go around fighting and killing people, but can you create anything? Do you know how it feels to bring life into this earth? Do you think of it before pressing the trigger? No! All you men have is a lust for power. If we eliminate all men, we can achieve something that has eluded humankind for eternity.
JS : And may I know what exactly is that?
FB : World Peace.
JS : Aaaah! The holy grail! The one answer given by all the anorexic 20-yr olds in beauty contests held by you people before leaving the ramp for the silver screen!!!
FB : Look at Mother Teresa. She served so many people and she is now a saint. Do you see men doing anything like that?
JS : Noah saved the world.
FB : Thats different.
JS : Oh, really?
FB : Womankind will be the answer to all the problems facing the earth. Poverty, STD, Racism shall all be eliminated if we feminists become overlords of the earth.
JS : Thank god you don't. Anyway, I have to go for lunch now. Do you have anything else to add?
FB : Lunch? I'm sure you have forced your wife to cook and pack your meals. Your single goal in life is to oppress her so that she does not succeed in life. How can you sleep at night when you know you are willingly destroying a useful contribution to society?
JS : No. I'm going to Dunkin Donuts. I'm not married.
FB : In the words of Abigail Adams, "remember the ladies, and be more generous and favourable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation."
JS : Goodbye. Catch you later. I am supposed to be in a power lunch 15 minutes ago.
FB : So what is the status of my maternity leave application?
JS : I don't care, bitch. Go fuck yourself, retarded bra burner. You are fired. At least, that way, I don't have to worry if you need leave or not. Affirmative action my ass.
FB : You MCP.
JS : Thanks. I'm an MCP and pretty proud of it too.

Now I need a pneumatic drill to put Miss.FB out of her misery. Doncha agree?

Dhoom

2005-09-27T03:30:00.000-12:00

धूम्

Well, I went on this drive to catch up with as many hindi movies as I can. Ended up watching 6 or 7 movies in 5 days. One of the more decent ones among them was Dhoom. Borrowing heavily from hollywood movies, this movie comes as a whiff of fresh air with less emphasis on senti shit and more focus on hot bikes... mmmm.. that I like

Plot - Unknown bikers rob bank vehicles in like 20 seconds and make hi speed getaways. Good cop (Abhishek Bachchan) tries to catch them with help from Loose cannon (Uday Chopra). Plot gets murky when Good cop and Loose cannon have a very public bash up and go their seperate ways. The gang plan one big heist that would set them up for a good life. But not everything goes according to plan. The inspector has one last stick to poke into the spokes to throw everything out of balance.

John Abraham suits his role as a renegade biker and the other bikers seemed quite good too. Well, that was primarily because their roles comprised driving cool bikes. Any ape could do that and appear like casanova. Most of the girls I know (Well, thats a very very small sample, actually) found john hot. I personally felt his head was way too big for his body. Ever seen a pumpkin stuck onto a picket fence? (Ducks for cover)

Abhishek Bachchan finally seems to get above mediocre roles and puts in a lot of effort. He has improved by miles after his first movie, Refugee. I can see glimpses of his father, Amitabh Bachchan in him. Though he can never reach the heights scaled by his illustrious father, he seems to have the potential to come close. Uday Chopra gets a decent role as a lovestruck mechanic desperate to start a family. He gives it a good shot and ends up with a 'cool' role in his resume. Esha Deol looks ugly as usual. The other actress cannot possibly be the wife of a pulis affsar! Anyways, this is an unabashedly male movie and is not afraid to be seen in that light. The 'heroines' are mere appendages and serve their purpose well. They do not attempt any 'emancipated woman' stunts and 'character artiste' stuff. They were taken in the movie to look good. And they fared reasonably well in that aspect.

Coming to the hollywood influence, there are plenty of instances where good scenes have been used for effect in the movie. This comes as a refreshing change, though it seems quite unneccessary at points. Movies copied from include - Heat (Pacino and De Niro restaurant discussion), Matrix Reloaded (Fight on top of the truck on the freeway), The usual suspects and the all pervading slow-mo give this movy a distinct touch.

Worth a watch. I'd give it 8 on 10. Guys can watch it for the stunts, chases. Guys can drool over the Hayabusa and Bandit bikes. Girls can drool all over John Abraham. Overall, a good product that has rolled out of the stables of bollywood.

Its "That" time of the year again

2005-08-15T03:30:00.000-12:00

Aah... the sweet smell of independence is in the air again.... Accompanying it is the nauseating stench of cliché that emanates from our newspapers this time of the year, that creates nothing more than a sense of irritation among the populace that are subjected to this useless barrage of recycled articles from the reporters and journalists.

Do not bother buying tomorrows newpaper. They report the same stuff over and over and over again, predicting the coming edition is a piece of cake. Here goes nothing...

In the first page, you will have kids from the red fort parade waving flags or performing. Or you will have a pic of indian army might (missiles, army regiment, battle tanks, LCAs, etc).

In the articles in the front page, a kid performing in the parade will tell the journalist he is very excited. His parent accompanying him will tell the reporter that the child has practiced real hard and will make him proud.

In another article, the journalist would have interviewed a security guy, who would say- "Security is beefed up and we have so much work to do. This is real hard work. I am working many hours a day and I won't get to celebrate independence day with my family "

Our PM will ask the nation to recollect the sacrifices of our freedom fighters and get inspired to fulfil their vision. He will enumerate the achievements of our nation and tell us that though we are doing very well, we need to do better.

Somewhere else, there will be a photo of the governor of the state in the states celebrations, or the CM giving a speech, recounting the efforts of freedom fighters and reminding us of our duty towards the nation.

In the 'india' section, there will be a pic of a coolie sleeping in the shade on the pavement at 40 degree heat or a woman hard at work, with the subtitle: "Its just another day for this person. 'If I take a holiday today, who will feed my family?'"

Another article will concentrate on NGOs and what they did for the disadvantaged sections of society. A head of some NGO will lament on the lack of interest on the part of the youth today. He will also call for funds to help them out of a financial crunch situation. The article will end with **** is an NGO working for the upliftment of ****. Mr.**** **** can be reached at 98*** *****. Interested people can contact him

In the international news section, there will be an article on pakistans independence day, where they elicit the views of liberal douches in media there. They will blabber about the indo-pak peace process as they do not know anything else to talk about.

Till Aug 15th, Bangalore Times will have articles asking celebs and yuppie college kids from pseud colleges/schools (MCC, Cottons, et al) what independence means to them. On Aug 16th, it will carry articles on how sexless creatures (rahul bose), ugly subhumans (kareena kapoor) or the same 'yo man, wassup?' brigade mentioned earlier spent the day. It might even throw in a poll or ask for readers opinions to fool them into thinking they actually care for the baloney they eagerly send to the editor.

TOI-let paper, Deccan Herald, Indian Express, Hindu... makes no diff. The articles are all the same! Same shit, different packaging.

Man, everything is so cliché, it might as well have been a bollywood script for all you know. After feeding the populace the same footage for more than 55 years, twice a year, some people actually wonder why the public has lost interest. Now how lame is THAT?

There you go! I've saved you four bucks

U2

2005-07-07T00:11:00.000-12:00

In the late seventies drummer Larry Mullen posted on a high school bulletin board asking for fellow musicians to form a band. Paul Hewson (Bono), Dave Evans (The Edge), Dik Evans and Adam Clayton came through and soon they started playing Beatles and Rolling Stones covers together. The rest, as they say, is history....

One of the most popular rock bands since the 80’s, U2 is an Irish rock band consisting of Bono (Vocals/Guitar), Edge (Guitar/Piano/Vocals/Bass), Adam Clayton (Guitar/Bass) and Larry Mullen Jr (Drums). Their live shows tickets sell out just minutes after they go on sale. :shock:

Their "Joshua Tree" album was the best selling album of 1987, which was the best year rock music ever had (Many rock bands released their career best albums this year). They continued with the acclaimed "Achtung Baby" in 1991 and went on as the world's biggest arena rock band sporting huge tours. They were once again hugely successful when they emerged with a stripped down sound on their "All That You Cant Leave Behind" from 2000. Their new album, "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb." is laced with plenty of political messages.

U2 is also probably the most politically active rock bands. Bono is perhaps the best-known advocate for finding a cure for AIDS and helping the impoverished in Africa. Bono was one of the most prominent personalities in the recent Live8. U2 was also one of the most successful acts in the Live Aid concert, 20 years ago. Queen was supposed to be the star act in the concert, but U2 clearly outshone them. In fact, their performance in that concert established the group as one of the best live performers, ever!

Don’t Miss

With Or Without You
Beautiful Day
Ultraviolet
Elevation
Fools Rush In
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me
Mysterious Ways
Bad
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Numb
City of Blinding Lights
Discotheque
Sweetest Thing
Unchained Melody
Where The Streets Have No Name
One
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Angel Of Harlem
Vertigo
Walk On
Zooropa

Trivia:

U2 was originally a 5 member band, the 5th member being Dik Evans, brother of Dave Evans (Edge). He left the band before they released their first album.

Formed as Feedback, the band changed its name to Hype. They then took the name U2 from a spy plane that was used in the late fifties.

The Rolling Stone magazine placed U2 in its fifty "greatest rock & roll artists of all time". U2 was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in their first year of eligibility.

U2 lead singer Bono is the only person ever nominated for an Oscar, Golden Globe, Grammy and Nobel Peace Prize

Their album “The Unforgettable Fire” was named after a series of paintings made by survivors of the atomic bombs at Hiroshima and Nagasaki

The song, Stuck In A Moment was written by Bono imagining a conversation between himself and a friend of his who committed suicide. So, he is talking about what he would have told him to prevent him from committing suicide, had he got the chance.

The Song, Sweetest Thing, was written by Bono as a birthday present to his wife, Ali. He forgot her birthday while recording The Joshua Tree and was trying to make up for it.

U2 was the fourth rock band to be featured on the cover of Time Magazine (The previous three had been The Beatles, The Band, and The Who)

In a partnership with Apple Computers, the band licensed a special version of the iPod music player with a U2 design (black faceplate with red click wheel, echoing the color scheme for the new album) and facsimilies of the bandmembers' signatures etched on the back plate.

External Links:

THE GODS of Psychedelic n Rock music...

2005-05-20T03:30:00.000-12:00

Pink Floyd is a brit band formed by Syd Barrett (vocals, rhythm guitar), Richard Wright (keyboards, vocals), Roger Waters (bass, vocals) and Nick Mason (drums). Syd was kicked out and David Gilmour joined the trio after their first album, Piper at the gates of dawn.

Starting off as a bluesy kinda psychedelic rock band, they defined rock for two decades, before splitting up and producing hit solo albums which seem to have a leaning towards pop......

They are renowned for their lavish stage shows, combining over-the-top visual experiences with their music to create a show in which the artists themselves are almost secondary...

The music is usually characterised by deep lyrics and long jams in a few songs. Guitaring work is awesome, and the keyboard is extensively used in most of the songs.

Another Brick In The Wall, part 2 is the anthem of students the world over

Don't Miss:
Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Wish You Were Here
Learning To Fly
Paranoid Eyes
High Hopes
Echoes
Time
Money
Breathe
Marooned
Us And Them
Comfortably Numb
Another Brick In The Wall (2)

Well, actually the list goes on n on..........

I'd recommend that you get your hands on the Directors Cut of Echoes, Wall (The movie), The Pulse Concert too....

For more, click here

Trivia:

Their album, Dark Side Of The Moon stayed in the US Top 200 (where it hit #1) for 741 weeks (including 591 consecutive weeks from 1973 to 1988), breaking many records on the way, and making it one of the top selling albums of all time

The Wall remained on best-selling-album lists for 14 years.

Pink Floyd derives its name from two old Georgia bluesmen, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.

Syd got kicked out coz he always used to be so high on LSD he kept forgetting lyrics of his songs while singing them in concerts.

Douglas Adams (of Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy fame) was a personal friend of David Gilmour and made a one-off guest appearance, on guitar, on The Division Bell tour (October 28, 1994).

In 2002 Q magazine named Pink Floyd as one of the "50 Bands To See Before You Die".

Wright was kicked out of the band after fights with Waters. He returned, on a fixed wage, for the album's few live concerts. Ironically, he was the only member of Pink Floyd to make any money from the "Wall" shows, the rest having to cover the excessive costs.

When the band were recording Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Syd Barrett turned up at the studio and nobody recognised him at first!!! The song was a tribute to Syd and this was a strange coincidence. Later, every member claimed that he recognised Syd first.

See the difference????

More Trivia here

Joe Satriani - A review.....

2005-05-20T03:04:00.000-12:00

This review will never do justice to Saint Joe! Anyways, my feeble attempt....

Italian by origin and American by birth, Satch, as Joe is known, is considered one of the most technically proficient guitarists in rock. He has mastered nearly every performance technique on his instrument, including two-handed tapping, sweep picking, volume swells, tap harmonics, etc.

Satriani (like Yngwie Malmsteen, John Petrucci and other guitarists who emphasize technical command and precision in their playing) has been criticized by those who prefer simpler compositional styles. He has been criticized for being too perfect

He has toured in a band G3, consisting of three brilliant guitarists at any point in time... Originally Joe, Steve Vai and Eric Johnson.. and now Joe, Steve and John Petrucci (DT fame, need I say more?)... He has also been on stage with other guitar greats at different points in time.. with Yngwie Malmsteen for example (Not too sure about this)

He is also a renowned guitar teacher, whose students have included Steve Vai, David Bryson (Counting Crows), Kirk Hammett (Metallica), Larry LaLonde (Primus), and Charlie Hunter, Kevin Cadogan (Third Eye Blind) among others.

Steve Vai became famous after he played with David Lee Roth ( Vocalist of Van Halen) .... He then raved about Satriani and this brought Satriani to the spotlight... Satriani also replaced Ritchie Blackmore in Deep Purple for 6 months and stayed in the band for 6 months before he declined to join the band full time (He idolised Ritchie too much and could not do this)

Do Not Miss
Always With Me, Always With You
Flying In A Blue Dream
Moroccan Sunset
Top Gun Theme
Big Bad Moon
Summer Song
Crystal Planet
Satch Boogie
Strange

This list goes on n on n on too

49 year old Joe uses Ibanez's JS Series guitars, and Peavey's JSX amplifier. Both lines were designed specifically as signature products for Satriani.

Its rumored that Joe writes lyrics to his songs, gets melodies out of them and then removes vocals!!!!!!

Let the angels stick to their harps! GOD plays the guitar!!!

Here's to Joe!!! Rock on, Satch!!! *Clink*

Should Tiger Woods Mow His Lawn?

2005-04-14T16:00:00.000-12:00

Long time since I posted anything here. So, let me start by concentrating on the hue and cry about brain drain from our nation. It has long been argued that bright students of India, mostly from IITs, just use Indian infrastructure and leave this country without ploughing back anything to the country that has bourne them for 20 odd years. They are villanised to such an extent that the IITs have started favouring scatterbrained M.Techs and PhDs over B.Techs. The general impression is that these brainy kids will not repay the country anyway, so lets cut them off at the source itself. Let us deny them any oppurtunity for development. Let us screw their lives so badly that they cannot have any chance of escaping this country. The professors give low grades so that these students are at a disadvantage against students from other countries, especially china, where just about any undergrad gets a 4 on 4.

It is often said that trade can make everyone better off. Just picture this scenario. Tiger Woods earned $6050 an hour (obtained by dividing his last years pay packet of $53 million by 8766 hours). Now let us assume that he can mow his lawn in 2 hours. Then, there is a redneck named David Lynch who lives across the street and flips burgers in MacDonalds earning $10 an hour. Let us say he can mow tigers lawn in 5 hours. So, should tiger woods mow his own lawn as he is better at it than David or should he pay David $50 to do the job for him, even though David is obviously much less capable than him in this regard? It does make economic sense for Tiger to pay David 50 bucks and not concentrate on mowing his lawn. Instead, he can attend a photoshoot for Nike or win a tournament in that time and earn a lot in the same amount of time. This is what is known as the concept of ECONOMIC / OPPURTUNITY cost. The cost of some item has traditionally been defined as what a person pays to obtain the item. But, the true cost of something is not what you pay to get the item, but what you give up to get the item. In this case, if Tiger spends 2 hours mowing his lawn, he would have lost anywhere from $12,000 to $1000000 as he has missed the photo session. Thus, the economic cost of tiger mowing his lawn is at least twelve thousand dollars, wheras the apparent cost is fifty dollars . Shows that if a person concentrates on what he is good at, it would benefit one and all, doesn't it?

Now replace "Tiger Woods" by a top-notch engineer and "David Lynch" by any run-of-the-mill engineer (Who are a dime a dozen in any indian city). If the top-notch engineer spends his life digging wells in some remote village in India's cowbelt (THE rural hinterland), would it not be a waste of human capital? Any mediocrity can dig wells, but it takes brains to create lasers that target specific cancer cells and cure cancer. The superior engineer owes it to himself and to society to utilize his brains to the fullest extent possible! He must move from a region which does not provide him with any oppurtunity to contribute to society to a region where he is provided with the best of oppurtunity to improve mankind. Let the mediocrity dig wells. That is what he is supposed to do! Brain drain may hurt a society a bit, but lack of it would hurt all humanity! Just think about it......

Note : I do NOT plan to leave my country to learn more about the intricacies of gear design . So, this post should not be misconstrued as a way to justify my future actions. This is just my opinion on the controversial issue of brain drain.

What If God Was One Of Us?

2005-03-25T23:30:00.000-12:00

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

- Joan Osborne

Right now, we live in a society that glorifies and celebrates mediocrity. Reality shows follow ordinary people performing mundane activities, living out their pathetically ordinary lives in front of the camera. Cinema is now portraying the ordinary man caught in ordinary situations. Music stations blurt out ordinary music created by record companies, sung by ordinary kids-of-the-block, who themselves are hyped up creations of the same record labels. We live in a world where it is cool to be normal. The more a person fits the mold of the stereotype, the more acceptance he gains in society.

Till a few years ago, the leaders of nations used to be towering personalities, to whom other members of the society looked up for inspiration. But now, it is all about connecting and bonding with the common man, about being one of THEM, rather than being an icon for a generation. Right from Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Ashoka, George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte and Adolf Hitler all the way to John.F.Kennedy, leaders always spoke with authority to their subjects from a pedestal, a higher plane, so to speak (Both actually and figuratively speaking). Many of these leaders were elevated to the status of a demi-god. But with the leaders of today, it is all about making people feel that they are just like them. Take for example Gandhi (Cleaned his own toilet), William Jefferson Clinton (Had an extramarital affair), George.W.Bush (got caught for drunken driving, smoked pot) and the most pathetic of them all, Sonia Ghandy ( I am a bahu of the Nehru parivar).

Just going off on a tangent here - Feroze Gandhi was actually born Feroze KHAN, but changed his name to Feroze Gandhi before marrying Indira Nehru. Feroze’s mother’s family name was Ghandy, often associated with Parsis and this was changed to Gandhi, sometime before his wedding with Indira, via an affidavit.

The impressions these supposed leaders give to the common citizen are that they are the same as the other people in society, with their little quirks and defects. George “Dubya” Bush, for example, represents the worst kind of leader. The following joke aptly describes the aforesaid mediocrity.

Sam, a rancher, asked his old bud Bubba what he thought about George W. Bush's being in the White House. The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'". Not knowing what the old man meant, Sam asked what a post turtle was. Bubba said, "When you're driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on Sam's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb thing get down."

Similar is the case with superheroes. Take for example, Superman and Spiderman. Superman is some sort of a god in disguise. He dropped into the earth, literally from heaven from a distant planet. He is the one stop solution to all problems faced by mankind. Superman is virtually flawless, except for one weakness - Kryptonite (Come on, cut them some slack... they gotta give the bad guys something to work on). Spiderman, on the other hand, is an average Joe leading an average Joe life. He is vulnerable, like the common man, and is personally affected by most of the problems common people face in everyday life. X-men represent the extreme case of this affliction in modern day society. Just about anyone among us could be a superhero, and a unique one at that! Everyone is unique, just like everyone else. There is nobody like an all-conquering absolute superhuman anymore.

Analogous to this is the scene in the film industry. The days of the I-don’t-give-a-damn-because-I'm-an-alpha-male star like Marlon Brando (A Streetcar Named Desire) , Arnold Schwarzenegger (Terminator, Commando, Predator, Eraser et al), Sylvester Stallone (Rambo, Rocky, Tango and Cash, Demolition Man), Jean Claude Van Damme (Double Impact, Hard Target, Replicant), Robert De Niro (Raging Bull) are well and truly over. It is the hardworking-oh-so-sensitive-man-on-the-street's day out in Hollywood. Colin Farrell (Phone Booth), Billy Crystal (When Harry Met Sally), Tom Hanks (You’ve Got Mail) and the dime-a-dozen college kids of teen flicks and others of their ilk are ample proof of this. The focus of movies has shifted from the all conquering super-male to the sensitive metrosexual. The tough-as-nails police detective HAS to come home to fight battles with life outside the purview of work too! This phenomenon is not restricted just to Hollywood. Our own bollywood has Rahul Bose (Who has acted in loads of movies with the same look and character, that of the sensitive and progressive metrosexual, none of his roles are worth a mention here), Ajay Devgan (Now just look at him, LOOK at him!) and the silly model-turned-actors like Dino Morea, John Abraham and Rahul Dev (He is the limiting case. Can anything possibly be uglier than him? ) enjoy a field day in our desi celluloid flicks.According to Sriharsha, there was a study that proved that the face most people find beautiful is the face obtained by superimposing a large number of faces of people of that society. If that is true, it is just another manifestation of the change in society.

Now why has society come to such a pass that the most average face is considered to be the most beautiful one? The most powerful leader is actually the most ordinary one? The most powerful hero is actually the most vulnerable one?

One way of explaining it all would be to look at the development of society's attitude towards its members. Earlier societies encouraged eccentricities. This led to various inventions created by unconventional methods, unbeknownst to anyone before that point in time. Over time, this tendency of society got eaten away by the perceived necessity of large sections of society to be politically correct. Calling a spade a spade was no longer the right thing to do. This has led to a flood of new terms - differently abled, physically challenged, socially impaired, and loads more in the same vein. There are no absolutes in the world anymore. If a person is less qualified or able than you in some field, it is BECAUSE he is better than you in another field. If you know that you are an authority in some field, it does not mean anything. The typical attitude of society can be stated as - SO WHAT? Having more brains than me does not mean that you are intellectually more capable than me or better than me in any way!

We must all be alike. Not everyone is born free and equal as the constitution says, but everyone made equal. Each man the image of every other; then all are happy, for there are no mountains to make them cower, to judge themselves against.

-Montag in "Fahrenheit 451"

The removal of absolute standards has resulted in any man on the street thinking that he can be a leader, a movie star or anything like that. The lack of the essential requirements means that the requirements were not actually needed in the first place. It is due to this screwed up way of thinking that astonishingly mediocre personalities have risen to shockingly high posts in society.

Another way to explain this would be to look at the zodiac. It is said that till the year 2000, we were in the Age of Pisces - Where man chose to be lead by a leader. Now, we have entered the Age of Aquarius, when man chooses to lead himself. This may explain why society is throwing up ordinary characters to lead other mediocre members of the society. The typical Piscean is an idealist. Pisces is one of the weakest signs of the zodiac. Aquarius, on the other hand, is one of the stronger signs of the zodiac. The typical Aquarian seeks out his own leader. My guess is that this has led to a situation where there are too many people searching for leaders modeled along their lines, to whom they can 'personally relate' to. They live the life of a leader vicariously through leaders who look, talk, act and live like them. Thus the new trend of One-among-you leaders and heroes. Well, as I personally do not believe too much in the zodiac, I will let this pass.

This blog can be summed up aptly by Arun Shourie's words delivered in a very interesting and inspiring extramural lecture held in IIT Madras - "Regrettably, standards are now being viewed by society as a part of a conspiracy by the classes to keep the masses down."

Is this what standards truly are? Should standards not be considered as the indicators of the level of any parameter, instead of being looked upon as barriers to prevent the unworthy from getting credit they really do not deserve? Are we really okay about idolizing people with no apparently special qualities? Are we satisfied watching the extra-ordinary lose the initiative to the mediocre? If we really are, then I hope god saves mankind!

Adios for now!

Equity at the cost of efficiency

2005-02-19T04:30:00.000-12:00

Check this link out!

I do not think these bankers have heard of the term "equality of the sexes" !!! Why must society bend over backwards and practise reverse discrimination? This is not an isolated case! Everywhere you go, you see that the percieved weak are given added benefits! Women, Scheduled Castes, Muslims, Blacks... Where and when will all this end? The whole system is getting pretty screwed up!

The need of political correctness has now led to a situation where the silent majority is being forced to let vocal fringe minorities take centerstage. The upper classes, majority and males in the country are made to feel guilty for no fault of their own. Any mundane remark passed by them, if percieved anti-minority or anti-weaker class or sexist by anybody, will lead to furore from all sides till the concerned person withdraws the remarks and tenders an unconditional apology. The minorities and weaker classes, on the other hand, get a free hand to criticise anyone and everyone they percieve fit. The sad part of this all is that there are many people within the majority community whose hearts bleed for the cause of the minorities. I am talking about the members of the Indian National Congress, the umpteen 'secular' parties and the worst of them all, the leftist parties, whose sole mission in life is to demolish the majority religion. These people would hurt their own community to further vested interests of minorities in the name of Secularism. How can promoting interests of the minority at the cost of the well-being of the majority ever be considered secularism?

In Uttar Pradesh, when corruption charges (With loads of evidence, mind you) are levelled against a certain leader of backward communities, what does she say? "This is all a conspiracy by Manuvadi forces to malign and harass the daughter of a dalit." How the hell is that justified? Sadly, this has led to more votes for that subhuman because there are enough stupid people to actually believe the above statement.

This is not a phenomenon seen in India alone. In the US of A too, Blacks feel that they are being disriminated due to their colour even if it may be far from the truth. I shall give you an example.... If a firm, say Intel, fires a Caucasian male, there are no complications. On the other hand, the first words escaping out of an African American woman on hearing that she is being let go would inevitably be "So, the black woman gets the boot? I'm gonna sue your white ass." Complications inevitably follow. The company gets sued for racial and sexual discrimination (with the word harassment thrown in for good measure) and is forced to pay the ex-employee millions of dollars for a sin it has never committed. Is this justified?

Why must the so-called weaker classes get a leg up on the basis of their origin? More than half a century ago, the Indian constitution explicitly forbid discrimination on the basis of Race, Religion, Creed, Caste and Sex. Yet, what do we notice after fifty five years of becoming a republic? Women demanding equality AND reservation at the same time! What is this? Are they equal to men or are they children of a lesser god? Scheduled Castes and Tribes are now demanding reservations in the private sector too, after they have effectively paralyzed the working of the government over the last fifty years, because they are not good enough to get jobs in the private sector on their own. Muslims were about to be doled out 5% reservation in Andra Pradesh.... the list is just endless.

Reservations based on NEED, rather than MERIT, patronising women because they have an inferiority complex.... This is getting more and more ridiculous by the day! Equity should never come at the cost of efficiency. This just leads to a decay in society. When the deserving do not get their due and are made to see people much less qualified get ahead of them just because their ancestors were supposedly harassed by his ancestors, all that results is frustration in the minds of the deserving in the society! Is it not society's loss when a capable person is denied oppurtunity and an undeserving person enjoys power and responsibility which must never have been given to him in the first place?

Instead of focussing on the job at hand, the undeserving focus their energy searching for instances where they feel they are being discriminated against because of their sex, color, race or religion. This leads to a situation where the deserving are denied oppurtunities to contribute to society and the undeserving do not do anything to further the cause of society either. All this leads to is stagnation of society. This is surely not in the interest of mankind now, is it?

Bank loans at concessional rates to the fairer sex is not a problem by itself. It is symptomatic of the degradation of society in the name of political correctness!!! This is a warning bell to society. We must heed the call now or we shall regret our inability to discern the obvious! Atrophy of society must be prevented at all costs. Only then can mankind develop.

Stupid Cupid !

2005-02-13T20:00:00.000-12:00

A copy of a copy of a copy……

2005-02-01T04:06:00.000-12:00

Jack (Fight Club):

With Insomnia, nothing is real.

Everything is far away. Everything

is a copy of a copy of a copy.

When you have insomnia, you’re never

really awake and you’re never really

asleep either.

Boy, that is Soooo True !!!

Here is Octa, a month into the new sem, realising that the old bugaboo called insomnia continues to irk him. He wakes up at 6 in the morning because the sun is up and it's too bright to crash anymore. Tries to crash in class…. Even when half the class is asleep, Octa is still TRYING…. He later gives up and listens to the ramblings of the prof. After lunch, he tries to get 40 winks…. But then realizes the fan regulator in his hostel room has been stuck at minimum speed for over 3 months. Muttering curses in general, he tries to crash anyways. But no luck even now as the ambient lighting and background noise is just too much to take. The day finally ends at 1 or 2, when he finally feels sleepy. Thanking his lucky stars, he immediately falls asleep, only to be woken up by noisy blood-sucking mosquitoes. If that does not happen, the nagging cold he has prevents him from getting a sound sleep by making him wake up once every hour to clear a blocked nose.

In the meanwhile, he finds that reduced sleep has caused him to become increasingly edgy. Most of the things he does are accompanied either by a sense of Déjà vu or surprise. He does things that he would never have done otherwise (Yeah guys, I’m serious!) . He snaps at his friends over trivial reasons and later wonders why exactly he did that.He posts real nice () messages in flowery Kannada in an orkut thread witnessing a fight between (who else) Indians and Pakis. He goes to the website of Orange Street, an Indian "techno-fusion" band whose concert he had gone to recently (during Saarang) and gives HONEST feedback as to what he thought of their vocalist, who seemed to relish the taste of his feet ( Well, he was putting both his feet in his mouth, at the same time)! And he has done a few other things that are not mentionable here...

I guess insomnia has something to do with the umpteen damned cramps he keeps getting nowadays... and the backache... and the red-eyes... wait-a-minute... is that all due to the swimming he has been doing recently?

Maybe you guys should also try this out sometime…. It sure will lead to more Mischief, Mayhem and Soap. Sounds like fun, waddya sey?

Note: This post has been inspired by Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

By the way, I am Octa's pained hyperactive turbocharged brain....

Now lets see...... Have I already written this blog? Is this a copy of a copy of a copy?

By the way .....

2004-10-27T23:40:00.000-12:00

Who is the author?
A geek from Bangalore who responds to the term 'octa' currently engaged in a battle of wits with the Mechanical Engineering Department of the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras. The professors at the department continuously try out new methods to test if the subject in question can die out of boredom during classes. The author has managed to hold out against such attempts. The department never stops trying though.
A bangalorean who does not visit pubs, discos and malls just because they seem to be cool. A bangalorean who last wore shoes 3 months ago, last watched TV 2 months ago and uses a cycle to go to class. All in all, the quintessential iitian, you could say !!!
A bangalorean who has been certified as 'Terminally Single', not that he has the time or proclivity to go around chasin' girls.
In all, a bangalorean who would be a misfit in his home town, but is totally at home in the Indian Institute of Tech.

Superheroes - What do they represent ?

2004-10-23T05:53:00.000-12:00

Christopher Reeve is dead !!! I really felt sad, watching the one-time Superman suffer due to his horse back accident. What can I say, a never-say die spirit that surely deserved more than what he got. R.I.P.

Just came back from the Open Air Theater after watching Spiderman 2 ( Yeah, delayed a bit, i agree). Well, guess I had not the time or inclination to watch it at home. Action in the movie was quite good (better than action of spidey 1). Did not like the senti pouted once every 3 minutes.

I was just thinking of the fantasy world created by these two popular characters. Are these two superheroes the same, or do they represent differing values??

Wondering about the actual significance of the two radically differing superheroes, I have come up with the following explanation of why the two superheroes are american icons of two distinct americas of two different ages. Following is my interpretation of the american psyche with respect to the two superhuman characters. Here goes nuthin...

Superman, first created in 1933, was an instant hit as it represented the great american dream.

An immigrant,Clark Kent, with no special powers in his own land is forced to leave it because he had to, lands up in the USA and grows up the american way. Using inherent qualities, he becomes an icon among the people of the USA. He serves the United States as though it was his home country. This was the typical mindset of the immigrants who arrived on the shores of the United States. The millions of immigrants immediately related to this unassuming character who loves to blend into the crowd, playing down the fact that he is different from the average american.Note that Kent is an English name ( Immigrant status )

On the other hand, the spurt in the popularity since 1990 of Spiderman is because of the way americans percieve their nation with respect to the rest of the world.

Spiderman represents America as a whole. A gifted hero on whom leadership is thrust upon by other people. A hero, admired and suspected at the same time. A hero whose actions are always under scrutiny. As stated by the Green Goblin- " The one thing they (People) like to see more than a hero win, is a hero fall." A hero whose friends turn into enemies he has to fight and conquer. Also, the enemies are usually formed as a result of failed experiments (see the connect??). A hero whose near and dear ones (Here, citizens of the US) are always at risk. A hero who always has to decide between two difficult courses of action for saving the populace of the city he inhabits. Overall, a reluctant hero, who ends up saving the world (Literally) and succeeds in keeping his values and reputation intact.

Well, I do not exactly agree with the americans view of america. This is what I can deduce...

The name .....

2004-10-22T12:59:00.000-12:00

Infirmofpurpus is a character from Asterix and the Big Fight. Felt it was a Brilliant name ..... just loved it the first time i read the name !!!
The name also describes me well ...... Can be angry, happy, scary, crazy, annoyed and more, all at the same time. Also keep thinking in 3 parallel streams all the time. Quite possible to lose connections when you are performing parallel processing in your brain. Very memory intensive process.
Now where was I ? Shit, I forgot !!!!!
In my blog, I would like to post thoughts that keep coming to my mind often, before I forget them.

This blog is going to be a vast collection of useless material written by a guy who doesn't know what he was doing 15 minutes ago ! Hope you enjoy the experience.

Till later, adios, amigo!